I am not a prophet, neither do I work for spy agency

Asuman Bisiika

What you need to know:

  • After Nkurunziza’s death, some people made jokes of my March 26 prophecy. I will pick one. ‘Next time, please equip your witchcraft with better GPS capabilities to identify the right targets in Kampala’. And on that note, I am considering withdrawing all my prophecies placed on public platforms.

On June 9, government authorities in Bujumbura announced that Pierre Nkurunziza, President of the Republic Burundi, had died. And Ugandans, bless them, resurrected a facebook post I published on Thursday, March 26, 2020.
For the record, here is the post: “I have postponed posting this message since Saturday, Februay 1, 2020.

After persistent procrastinations, the oracle insisted that I make the message public (and threatened to cast on me the Prophet Jonah Effect). I have now submitted to the will of the gods. And here is the message. By the end of the #Year2020, a death will occur of so important a person and personality in the Great Lakes Regional Geopolitix that it will change the course of history. In Luganda: a Head of State in one of the countries that constitute what we know as the Great Lakes Region will die before Friday, January 1, 2021.”

And by the way, I had predicted that two former presidents and a sitting president would die in a period of two years (2019-2020). This prediction was published in Minority Report in the Saturday Monitor of December 28, 2018.

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And so I received a phone call immediately President Pierre Nkurunziza’s death was made public. Without any preamble, the caller just said: Cut out all that crap of witchcraft or prophecies and just tell me who killed President Pierre Nkurunziza of Burundi. I didn’t have a ready answer.

I have made very many ‘prophecies’, most of which have come to pass. But the most audacious (and some people say, the most stupid) prophecy was that ‘Mr Museveni will not be on the ballot paper for the 2021 presidential Elections’.

Because most of my prophecies are political in nature and carry security related weighting (and most have come to pass), some people have told me they think I could be a well placed spy in some serious spy agency. Some say I could be an anointed fellow delivering God’s prophetic messages. I am neither. That is why I would like to make it known to all human and other sundry persons and State thus: I am not a prophet; neither do I work for any spy agency.

Some people have framed me as a spy or some knowledgeable person or even as a witch or prophet. And indeed I have been approached by many people from diverse backgrounds seeking ‘advise’ on diverse issues. Yes, real spies, MPs, Cabinet ministers, etc, have consulted with me (on the basis that I could be a spy or a prophet or witch or all). But I am an ordinary fellow (poor and vulnerable, although I didn’t receive Jajja’s kawunga and rotten beans).

But the most thrilling experience I had was when a lady claiming to be the wife of a Cabinet minister wanted me to help her with ‘my witchcraft or magic’. She wanted her hubby to ‘return to her and love more’. I played along and promised to work on her issue. I asked her to bring me the original two rings the two you exchanged in church. She could not bring them; and I was later to learn that she was after all not the legal wife of the minister (though she had the minister’s son).

Ugandanians…!
Now, you know how desperate people land on con prophets and pastors. Indeed, someone asked me to start a church…
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After Nkurunziza’s death, some people made jokes of my March 26 prophecy. I will pick one. ‘Next time, please equip your witchcraft with better GPS capabilities to identify the right targets in Kampala’. And on that note, I am considering withdrawing all my prophecies placed on public platforms.

Mr Bisiika is the executive
editor of the East African Flagpost.
[email protected]