Love is no reason to stay in an abusive relationship

Thursday October 25 2018


By Christine Nakalungi

Whoever introduced a saying that, if a man does not hit you then he does not love you is not only a egocentric but on the day of judgment, he will face the numerous women who have met their death through beatings.
Our ancestors were women who swallowed their pride, endured abuse, beatings, infidelity and men found a way of brain washing them. Ancient men created scenarios to enslave women and even initiated sayings such as, “A man is free to have as many women as he wants” This is how our grandmothers were treated and maybe it was okay then but we are in a different generation now, why would someone think that beating his wife is a way of expressing love?
I have often heard people, especially women say that they stay in an abusive marriage for the sake of their children. “I do not want my children to be raised by another woman,” some say and yet others are afraid of the financial challenges that single mothers face. This would be a justifiable reason if at all this did not hurt your children. It is so heartbreaking seeing your parent flogged and not being able to save her. Many abusive men have robbed women of their dignity, esteem and sent others to their graves. This could be avoided if women knew their worth. There is a number of women who have been hit and despised but still hold onto a man all in the name of LOVE. “He apologised and said that he will never do it again,” some women say. Others shamelessly defend the abusive husband. “He was drunk or he has been stressed lately.” These and much more have been the stories of numerous victims.
If your husband cannot express his love for you without hurting you, then it is time to wake up. Love does not hurt. As a matter of fact, love protects and only wishes to make that person smile and not cry.
A man who hits his wife because she has done something unpleasant is not any different from Boko Haram. Your wife is not your property but rather your partner and companion. Men should know that paying bills does not give you a right to treat her like a slave.
Dear women, if he hits you, he does not love you. Stop making excuses for someone who treats you less than what you deserve. Life is more precious than love; do not sell your life to pain and hopelessness. You can become the hero of your own story and teach your children to respect other humans and to always stand up for their rights.