My husband is dirty and inconsiderate

Thursday April 16 2020


Dear Heart to Heart, This time in lockdown has revealed so much to me including the fact that my husband is very dirty. In the morning, he wakes up and goes straight to the couch and watches one movie after the other without even showering or brushing his teeth. Then, sometimes, he will want to come to bed without showering and if I was not tough on him, I think he would actually do it. What is more annoying is the fact that when he decides to shower, he will throw clothes all over the house and leave me to pick up after him. Its as though this lockdown has given me a completely different man from the one I married. Help a wife who is already losing her mind. Anonymous


Patience Nampa Natie: Be open and talk to him. Tell him calmly without complaining the right way stuff should be done. With regard to showering, you can bring in romance. Try convincing him to shower by encouraging him to take a shower with you.

Shallon Katushabe: Simple, always organise your house as part of your responsibility. Men generally do not see this as a problem and it is up to you as his wife to let him know that what he is doing is wrong and should stop immediately.

Phoebe Miriam: This lockdown has brought out spouses as they really are to each other. You need to sit down with your husband and talk to him calmly about his hygiene. Let him know that cleanliness is next to Godliness in marriage. Encourage your husband to shower with you and brush first thing in the morning and last thing in the night by doing it together...that way he will learn the value of hygiene.

Mary Maria: My dear, it is up to you as his wife to play that role. If you see that having a shower gives him a hard time, then try to convince him and you do it together daily. It is you to change your man into something you want and most especially when it comes to hygiene.


Saidi Samuel Banks: Since you have now noticed this, talk to your husband and let him know that he is being a bad example to the children. Show him the error of his ways but in a loving and tender manner. There is already enough stress going around. So, you do not want to seem like you are also nagging him.

Niwamanya Julius: Apart from bathing, the rest are not problems. You will be shocked if he decides to reveal to you most of your mistakes also. Go and sort out this between the two of you.

Phiona Anens:Did you have time for courtship before marriage? These are some of the things you can clearly see if you take time to court. I understand your situation but talk to him and see if he can change. He has the whole day doing nothing and can’t even shower, some men also…

Bajakubinji Abdul Rahimu Twayyibu: No need to worry, your husband is totally confused with the lockdown that is why he is doing that. He is not in his senses. After this period, you get back your normal husband. God bless you
Susie Ann Nants. Poor upbringing in full action. Find a humble way of telling him and how it affects you and everyone in the house.

Sarah Komie: But that is your responsibility madam and that is what is expected of you. Clean your husband up or the shame goes to you.
Lillinna Nam: Some of the women are using this lockdown as an excuse....let us be clear...there is no way a lock down can change someone’s hygiene behaviours...either he has been like that or he is simply not your husband.
George William: Then you wake him up, by telling him politely that I have prepared your toothbrush and bathing water. You will see him adjusting. This period has made many of us lazy.
Shamirah K Derah: Think of the day you will wake up and have nothing to clean, pick up or even argue about with him. Enjoy the moment while you still can.
Tom Malinga: The problem with rushing to marry. You clearly are not wife material and were not ready to take this responsibility. If you cannot even clean up your husband, how do you clean your home and children? Please grow up.
BenbellaRubaranga Turyamwijuka: Communication is all you need. Talk to your husband and let him know that what he is doing is hurting you and he needs to change. Maybe you are also overwhelmed. Ask him for some assistance around the house since you are his wife and not his maid.
Flavia Namasembe: Men will always behave like children before women they love. Always talk to him about cleanliness and sometimes go to shower with him, he will slowly change. Marriage is for better, for worse.

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