Before you fall for every apology, take a step back

Thursday October 3 2019


By Christine Nakalungi

Someone cheats on you once and you play the forgiving spouse, again he or she does the other unspeakable thing and you fall for; “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you”.
The crocodile tears keep blinding you and you forgive over and over again.

Is forgiving bad? Of course not but forgiving someone who isn’t really apologetic is the problem. Much as Jesus orders us to forgive seven times seventy seven times, (which we should try to do) but forgiving your partner doesn’t necessarily mean staying with him even when you don’t love and trust them anymore.

People who are good at committing the same hurtful things over and over again are the ones who have mastered the art of apologising.
They believe that once you ask someone for forgiveness then she or he is entitled to give it to you, if that doesn’t work, some people think they can buy forgiveness by giving trips and gifts.

Insincere people enjoy blaming others for their decisions. “Oh, the devil tempted me.” They will claim. Others especially if the act involved another person they will dump the blame on the other person or their friends. This is a sign that he or she is not willing to own up. Words, “I am sorry” might be said but the mind might be like, “ well, it’s not even my fault” therefore they feel like they are obliged to receiving that forgiveness. But once you grant it, the cycle will begin again and again until your heart finally gives up.

Every time you hurt someone who loves you, you take a piece off the ‘love package’ you might be forgiven but after a number of times, the love package will diminish and there won’t be any love left for you to receive. You might receive the forgiveness you ask for but you might never be able to win back that person.

So before you accept every apology that comes your way, think. Make sure you are not being taken for granted or used. It is good to forgive, but do not always play the fool. Forgive but if you realise you are being taken advantage of, then it might be time to move on to other options.