Breaking up to makeup: Does it work?

Friday February 2 2018

MC Kats and fiancee singer Fille have broken up

MC Kats and fiancee singer Fille have broken up and made up several times. Relationship experts say reason such as children and friendship always bring couples back together.  

By Esther Oluka

John and Jessica Mbabazi were high school sweethearts. They were very much in love and planned to spend the rest of their lives together. Their friends termed them as the perfect couple.
However, while at university, the duo split amidst allegations of cheating on both sides. After parting ways, they went on to date other people.
Despite moving on, Jessica says she always felt an emotional emptiness deep inside her heart that no man except John could fill. “I missed John a lot and kept wishing and praying that one day, we would get back together,” she says.
About five years later, after Mbabazi had graduated from university, she was surprised when she received a phone call from John. They had previously lost communication.
“He called asking how I was doing and if we could meet and talk,” she says.
On meeting, John poured out his heart and begged her to give the relationship another chance. “God had heard my prayers,” she says.
The duo was able to talk things over and eventually married. Today, they have two children together.
This couple is an example of many others out there entangled in a make-up and breakup cycle.

Solomon Okiria, a counselling psychologist, says one of the reasons couples who break-up make up later, is if one was very compatible to their ex-partner.
“If one had a very close bond with the other, chances are always high that the two will always get back together,” Okiria says.
A well-established friendship with an ex-partner is yet another reason that could pull partners back together after a breakup, he adds. “If the relationship was incorporated with a strong friendship, that alone can always bring back individuals together,” Okiria says.

For Racheal and David Musoke, it was because of a daughter they had earlier on their relationship.
“I gave birth to a daughter while at university. Shortly afterwards, I separated with her father after my family blamed him for ruining my future,” Racheal says, adding, “Despite everything, he continued giving me support both emotionally and financially.”

And after she completed university, Musoke sold her the idea of settling down together.
“He gave me a sound reason about not wanting to have children with different women,” she says. The two eventually got married and now have two more daughters together.

It could go wrong
Sometimes when couples make-up, things do not go according to plan. The problems still persist in a relationship.
A case in point, Daphine Nakato says she made-up with her boyfriend after breaking up for two years. She says it was, however, not a good idea.
“The fights continued and he was more arrogant and disrespectful towards me. It is probably because of the high-paying job he had got and was now throwing it in my face,” she says.

Nakato felt she deserved more and walked out of the relationship and vows never to get back to him, again.
Okiria notes that breaking-up and getting back together may not be a sound idea at times because, a couple may not be destined to be together. “It is like trying to force a relationship to work again. If things did not work in the first place, sometimes, the best thing is to let it go,” he says.

Learn lessons
When couples get back together, Okiria advises them to desist from repeating their past relationship mistakes. “Treat your partner better, be respectful, supportive and more forgiving,” he urges.
Learn from your past mistakes, Okiria urges couples entangled in the relationship break-up and make-up cycle.

Famous break-ups and make-ups?
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez
The duo first met in 2009. Bieber was 16 whole Gomez was 18. They went on to date a few years later and broke up in 2012. Today, they are back together.

Bebe Cool and Zuena
The duo have previously split and later got back together. Bebe Cool even went ahead to pour out his heart in two songs titled Agenze (she has gone) and Bamugambe (tell her).
Jose Chameleon and Daniella
There is always drama about this couple. There was even a case last year when Atim filed for divorce in the courts of law, only for us to hear later that the couple had managed to settle their differences. They are now back together.