Confessions of blind dates gone bad

Friday February 9 2018

Sydney Ritah Mutyaba

Sydney Ritah Mutyaba 

By Desire Mbabaali

Unfortunately, as most people know, blind dates do not have the best track record for success. And today, Desire Mbabaali shares confessions of people from some of the blind date experiences that left them more shocked than amused.

Sydney Ritah Mutyaba – He annoyingly caressed me

I like a gentleman, but do you know what I hate, a hopeless romantic! We had been talking with this man for a couple of weeks after a friend shared my number with him. On the phone, and on whatsApp, he seemed a nice person. The kind who is a little more in love with you, loving, and seemingly understanding – at least that was the kind of impression I got. So when he suggested that we meet, I was not hesitant. I bet I raised the bar a little too high. So, we meet, fancy restaurant, he is tall and cute and well dressed, inside I am like, “Yes! This is exactly what I need.”

He pulls out the chair for me, I sit. I think he will definitely sit across, but no, he pulls his chair just beside mine. Inside, I hesitate, but I play it cool. So we chat, I can tell that he is a hopeless romantic from all the endearments he is washing me with. I do not know about other people but endearments such as; baby, sweetie, honey, my love, sweetheart and asking for sex do not work on a first date! I keep emphasising that my name is Sydney, but he ignores.
I really tried to overlook all these, but when he started pulling his chair closer and closer to mine, and touching me, first on the shoulder and then on my thigh, caressing me, that was it! Respectfully, I told him to push his chair away. I got my bag and walked out. He called, texted, apologised, and I just ignored him.

Derrick Mugume – She called me gay!
I am a stubborn, often talkative kind of person who cracks a lot of jokes. So I went on a date with this girl and she just could not understand the humour. She took offense at everything I said. To put it plainly, she was overly emotional and very uninformed.
So, as we were chatting, talking about each other’s favourite meals; I said beans were my favourite sauce. She told me, “But beans are for the poor!”… I mean, her way of thinking really sucked. She also told me that my voice sounds too girly and that from the way I looked, I cannot be straight. “You really look gay,” she said that, on our first date!

He blocked my number
At 17 years I won something on radio and they read my number on air. The days that followed, I received many calls from men telling me how I had a sweet voice. There was one man whom we talked for a few months and felt really connected. He asked that we meet. We met at a certain restaurant in Kampala. He was really good looking. After greeting me he pretended as if he had received a phone call and went out saying he would like to complete the call first. I waited and waited and he did not return. I went out and looked around and he was nowhere to be seen. I called his number and it was busy. I tried again and he had blocked me. I was so heartbroken he did not like me.

He had no money for our meal
We had been talking with this man for close to two months when we finally agreed to meet. He had a sexy voice! I suggested that we meet at Chicken Tonight in Wandegeya, Kampala. I dressed to the nines only for man to show up and he was short and not good looking. Worst of all, he had not put any effort in his dressing. He looked as though he was coming from a market. When it was time to order food, he claimed to be satisfied saying he had eaten before coming. He said, though, that I should eat rice and chicken of Shs8,000. Seeing I was eating and he was not yet clearly hungry, I gave him half of my piece of chicken. He liked me but I cut communication until he gave up.

Edward Musoke - Her breath was horrible
Under no circumstances can I stand being around a person with bad breath or bad body odour. It is such a turn off. Unfortunately for me, I went on a blind date with this girl and she was the very thing I hate. She had terrible breath, not out of not brushing, but I guess she had eaten or swallowed garlic. She had onion breath!
Also, ever realised how people with bad breath like getting close, and every time they are talking, they get in your space? That is exactly what happened with this girl. I just wanted to go away, I wanted her to shut up, so I tried to talk more than she did, but to no avail!

Evans Twinomujuni – Her complexion shocked me
Well, we had been talking before we met, and she was a really nice person. Her command of English was perfect. She seemed really polished. But the walls came crumbling down when we actually met.
She showed up smartly dressed, very fashionable, nice perfume, perfect body, and she was also an albino. I did not know how to react to that.

I was so shocked I could not move, say anything or come up with something. I was shocked not because she was an albino – I mean, that is very okay, but because this is not what I had expected. It had never occurred to me to ask about that kind of thing. So I was shocked and angry at myself because at the end of the day, that mattered.
Of course she knew I was shocked, and she tried putting me at ease about it. I eventually relaxed a bit, and tried making conversation. The evening went well, she was perfect, we had a lot of things in common, but I knew I wouldn’t see her another time.

Rehema Nakyeyune – He tried to con me
People can be so audacious! But this guy was the winner. He was everything wrong. He arrived late for the date, and not just 10 minutes late; but almost an hour late. And then he shows up with his random friend. Good enough, the friend gives us our privacy. He sits a few tables away from us, but throughout the entire time, he is texting on his phone, and receiving a call on his small techno phone every after a few minutes.
It is obvious that he is distracted, and when I ask about his job, he says he does a number of things. For some reason, I started suspecting that he was a conman. My suspicions were later confirmed when he started talking about how he can sell me gold. He told me to give him a deposit of Shs500,000 immediately and then he would buy the gold, sell it for me and in three days give me Shs1 million. We parted ways, I blocked his number.