Dear women, be clear about what you want

Someone raised in the western culture told me that Africans are raised in such a way that we can’t really express ourselves in terms of what we want unlike them who will speak their mind and leave you to deal with it. Much as I wanted to defend the way we are raised, which I am really proud of, I analysed and realised that what she said was true, sadly.

We are raised in away that we even fear to approach a guy we really like, stand up to that abusive boss or anyone in power. Well, times are changing and if you are among the young generation it’s time to jump onto the bus.

Last week a reader wrote to me complaining about women who fear to say what they really want and blame the husband if he can’t add up the dots.

So I ask my dear sisters, would you rather say that you want a wedding to that long time boyfriend of yours or play him songs every morning like that of Beyonce saying, “put a ring on it” or Rema Namakula’s “Siri Muyembe”?

I know that most of us are shy to really say what we mean but I think it might be the only way to save our relationships. Its better to say it out loud and feel ashamed than always blaming yourself for never saying it. Men too have this problem but society expects them to swallow their pride and man up. And since we fight for emancipation, I think it’s time to speak out before the ocean of sadness swallows us.

Most people also suffer from depression because they have alot of issues and ideas built up in their mind that they just can’t air out. Dont wait to get to the psychiatrist in order to air out the issues that wouldn’t have hurt you emotionally in the first place.

I have always heard my fellow girls say, “I tried showing him all the signs but he just ignored them”. Now I know that maybe he just didn’t read between the lines, maybe it would have been more clear to him in words than using the nonverbal language.

“How are you?” He asks “I am alright” you reply. “But you look sad, is everything alright?” He insists. “I am ok” you say that but deep down you want to burst because he forgot your birthday.
And you hope that with the non verbal language, he will miraculously remember and act accordingly. Well, he might not and just saying the truth would maybe have solved all that. Say what you want and mean what you mean. It just makes everyone’s life simple.