Dear Heart to Heart, I am 28 years old and still a virgin since I believe in staying pure until marriage. However, I am starting to lose hope in finding the right man because all men that come my way want to have sex during dating. When I try to talk to them about waiting, they break up with me. I worry because I have been told the older you get, the more painful losing your virginity gets. Am I being rigid or is finding a man with such principles nowadays this difficult? What should I do? Daizy
Okedi Albert Method. I would like to congratulate you for observing your principles and for keeping yourself free from fornication which is biblically condemned. You are lucky you have also been able to avoid contracting diseases. So please stick to your principles and God will bring you the right person because very few ladies nowadays are like you. You are really marriage material.
Peter Otim. At 28, chances are you will get a man who is married with children or one who has a failed marriage and divorced or become a second wife or worse still become a side dish.
Moses Chandiga. Keep put, as long as you believe in God and your values and principles, the right man will come your way and I decree it in Jesus’s name, Amen.
Prince Nantajja Noah Daizy. Just know what you want and wait on the Lord in prayer and fasting for the person you wish to have. Your principle makes the real you. Keep safe and you will not regret. God bless you.
Okhello Sam Daizy. Not all guys would like to sleep with a woman they are dating. Sex is sacred and it should not be like soccer games where we have a player, ball and the goal post. For both men and women who do not respect their bodies end up with dirty stains and diseases. Better to abstain.
Odongo Joseph Odojose. Whether you give into sex or not, men will deem you unfit for marriage as long as your character is unpleasant. In fact, if your character is good, being a virgin and polite makes you a preferred wife.
Ikwara Julius. In life, you make your own choices. Their outcome should not make you regret because your life depends on God; our creator. Why worry if you have chosen something? Just make sure you respect yourself, have discipline and you will find the man of your heart’s desire. No one should decide for you.
Nsubuga Bart Daizy. Some of these things are really due to perception. There are no guarantees that withholding sex makes good partners. You just have to pray harder to God so that He can bring someone with the same principles your way.
Kironde Eric. Of course it is not easy to find such a man nowadays. But before someone loves you, first love yourself. Then the rest shall follow. Thank you for remaining pure for it is rare today.
Jossy Debiker. Would you feel happy if you married a man with a small penis? At times we need to be realistic. I only know three pillars of marriage; money, sex and character. Sister wetereze.
Kiiza Martin. Believe me you will never get a man who has all the qualities you want. You can only settle for one you can change to the one you want.
Godfrey Santo. Trust God; you will get a man that adheres to your principles. Truth is, nowadays men want to ‘know’ the woman they are taking home to avoid regretting after committing oneself. So guys sometimes look for guarantee but take your time and trust God. You will get a man who will love you without conditions.
Ojok Samuel. Love is not about virginity but more about trust and respect which you seems not to get. Maybe some soul searching is needed.
Odongo Long John. Continue with your principlesw until when you discover that men no longer want you then you start consulting witch doctors.
Baguma John Raymond. Do you have the qualities of a house wife apart from being virgin? I pray that God directs you to really find your missing rib. Follow your heart.
Sharon Achayo. May be your are into men of the world. Men who know God are there and found in church. They know and believe in the principle of no sexual intercourse till marriage.
Ddumba Hakim. Denying a man sex until marriage does not guarantee that he will stay with you forever. I think if someone really loves you, he will stick with you even if you have sex before marriage and if someone just wants to ‘hit and run’, he will still leave you.
Ben Ekicumurwa. Sorry, any relationship without sex is like a party without music or a beautiful woman without breasts.
Evelyn Kharono Lufafa, counselling psychologist at Ssuubi Medical Centre
Stick to your principles
Sorry Daizy but the anxiety and stress you are going through right now are all a natural process decision making. No one said decision making was going to be easy especially on such personal and delicate a matter. However, you are not alone. Having unshakable beliefs and principles in life is very powerful; it is a sign you have a healthy self-esteem.
It is true at 28 the clock may be ticking but it is worse to rush in a relationship and crash. While both experiences are painful, at the end of the day a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. You have managed to hold onto your principles for this long; it should not be difficult to hold for a little longer because when you finally meet the right man who truly loves you, he will respect your decision.
About your fears on the possibility of experiencing pain on your first night, doctors say intercourse will be uncomfortable if penetration occurs before you are aroused. So, proper arousal should take care of this problem for you. You can also visit a doctor for a more detailed discussion.
Compiled by Carlyne B.