I love my boyfriend but he is friends with everyone

She did not like the way everyone seemed to know him, from the street people to vendors in the markets to people he did not even work with. COURTESY PHOTO

What you need to know:

  • It did not matter wherever they went, however secluded the place was, as long as it was within the city, not less than two people always crawled out of the wood work to come over and say hello.
  • She hated that she always had to share him with ‘all those strangers’, especially since she considered herself a very private person.
  • He shrugged off saying he could hardly refuse to return a greeting, it was simply being civil. In the end, it was this difference in perspective, and the failure to change that drove her away.

She did not like the way everyone seemed to know him, from the street people to vendors in the markets to people he did not even work with. She just could not understand how one could know so many people, and how did he ever get to become that friendly with each one of them?

Her concern, even more than the girls that seemed to line up to greet him, was that they never seemed to have any privacy. It did not matter wherever they went, however secluded the place was, as long as it was within the city, not less than two people always crawled out of the wood work to come over and say hello.

She hated that she always had to share him with ‘all those strangers’, especially since she considered herself a very private person.

He shrugged off saying he could hardly refuse to return a greeting, it was simply being civil. In the end, it was this difference in perspective, and the failure to change that drove her away.

When they had just started dating, she did not really pay much attention to all these distractions. She was too absorbed by this man who had come into her life and infused it with much needed vitality. He was charming, considerate, kind, a good listener, with an amazing sense of humour.

In short, he was too good to be true, a very likeable person. He seemed well known, nearly every place they went, someone would recognise him. And yet he was not a media personality, or one of those people who live in the public limelight. He simply knew people, lots of people.

She started feeling the pinch when they started dating. She had his attention yes, he was not neglectful or inconsiderate, but that is how he was with other people. She had to share him with so many other people that she could not help feeling cheated on. More so, considering that when she was with him, he had her full undivided attention, even her phone would be switched off. Unconsciously, she started noticing how long he talked on phone, who he talked to, and how often.

She did not suspect him of cheating, not yet, but the little jealousy part in her told her she was not getting her rightful share of attention, as his woman.

Whenever she visited, his neighbours were always dropping in one by one, and this would drive her crazy. So, she asked him to move to another house, on some pretext. But even there, it was not long before he was friends with all his new neighbours. So, she asked him to ‘tone it down’.

And he did not know, or understand what it was she wanted. So, she explained that she did not want to share him with the whole world anymore. He could not understand what she meant. Then she started snooping through his phone, and listening to his phone calls. It was not long before she was convinced that he was cheating. But she could not bring herself to accuse him of cheating. So, she gave him an ultimatum; either her or all those other people. ‘Those other people’ won.