I once poured cold water on him

Thursday July 9 2020

Alphae says when he lost his mother, Judith

Alphae says when he lost his mother, Judith offered a shoulder to cry on and that is when he knew she was the one. Photo | courtesy 


Judith and Alphae Opolot’s story goes back to when she was a pupil in primary school. At the time, Judith lived in Bweyogererere, a Kampala suburb, where Alphae had friends whom he visited from time to time.

On days he would visit his friends, he would see Judith walking around the neighborhood. He became fascinated by her and later thought there was nothing harmful about starting a friendship with her.

“I then began saying hello every time I saw Judith,” Alphae says, adding, “And before I knew it, we became friends.”
But overtime, Alphae developed romantic feelings towards Judith and told her.

“But I did not want to know anything about boys. In fact, one time, I found him hiding behind a water tank around the neighbourhood waiting for a chance to see me. Because I was not interested in him, I got furious. I remember fetching a basin of cold water and pouring it on him,” Judith says.

Despite the incident, Alphae kept going back to the neighbourhood attempting to see Judith. Most of the time though, she was unmoved.

But what was it about Judith that made Alphae so attracted to her? “I loved the way she carried herself. She was beautiful, calm and poised unlike other girls in the neighbourhood,” Alphae says.


The love letters
After primary school, Judith joined Namasagali College, in Eastern Uganda, where she enrolled from Senior One to Senior Four. It was then Alphae decided to change his strategy by pouring his heart out through letter writing.

“He began writing and sending me love letters. But I never responded to any them. I can now comfortably say that I was this naïve girl who hardly knew anything about love,” she says.

However, Judith kept the letters. “I poured my heart out in those letters. I was very creative and expressed my utmost admiration for her,” Alphae who was studying at Naalya Senior Secondary School at the time, says.

Loosing contact, meeting again
After completing Senior Four and relocating to Munyonyo in Kampala, Judith lost contact with Alphae. Then, in 2008, while running errands, she met Alphae’s sister.

“We started chatting and during our conversation, she surprisingly told me that Alphae keeps talking about me even after losing contact,” Judith says, adding, “I was humbled that he was still thinking about me.”
And through Alphae’s sister, Judith was able to re-connect with him. When the duo met again, Judith was now accommodative of Alphae, unlike in the past years.

They talked about their past and present lives and although Judith had just ended a relationship, Alphae had a girlfriend. For this reason, they decided to be friends. They stuck to checking on each other once in a while and occasionally going for outings.

A shoulder to cry on
In 2007, Alphae went to Nsambya Hospital to visit to his ailing mother.

“I went inside the room where my mother was admitted while my then girlfriend remained in the waiting area. When I returned to the waiting area, I found my girlfriend furious. She said it was unfair for me to leave her alone all this while,” Alphae says.
He adds that it is this lack of sympathy that led to the demise of their two-year relationship.

“Due to this incident and many other issues that had been piling up over time, I decided to end the relationship,” he says. His mother died later after failing to recover fully from an operation. After the break-up and loss of his mother, Judith was there to offer Alphae a shoulder to lean on.

When Judith’s father died a year later, Alphae returned the favour and became a strong source of comfort to her.
“These were tough times for both of us but we were there by each one’s side. We kept comforting and encouraging each other,” they say.

Overtime, the two bonded more and grew closer to each other before starting a relationship that led to marriage. The couple wedded last year on April 27 and have two children.

Alphae says like in many other relationships and marriages, they face challenges from time to time.
“There are times we have disagreements over finances and career, among other things,” he says.
But after these heated arguments, Alphae says they eventually sit down to resolve the issues and come to a common understanding.

To couples intending to marry, Alphae and Judith advise them to first seek the counsel and guidance of God. And to individuals nursing heartbreaks, the couple encourages them to give their hearts enough time to heal before starting another relationship.

Reconecting. Then, in 2008, while running errands, she met Alphae’s sister. “We started chatting and during our conversation, she surprisingly told me that Alphae keeps talking about me,” Judith says, adding, “I was humbled that he was still thinking about me.”

Loved traits
Strengths, weaknesses
Alphae, who does audio and visual production work and serves as a sectional leader at Watoto church, says:
I love my wife because she is intelligent, patient, sincere and open. On the other hand, one of her weaknesses is that she does not fulfill her promises. However, I know that she is working on improving.
Judith, a businesswoman, says:
I love my husband because he is loving, patient and a go-getter. If he wants something, he goes for it. One of his weaknesses is that at times he can insist on doing something, regardless of whether the outcome is dangerous. He does not listen easily. It is a character flaw he is working on improving though.