If they slapped you once they are likely to slap you again

Wednesday August 12 2020

Abusive people tempt you into loving them; they wear their charm to lure you into their lives. You count yourself lucky with no fear for your life because they make you feel safe at first; then one night they strike.

You think that it is just one bad day and cry it off, you try to break it off but then they come back with their charm, flowers and an apology, “I do not know what came over me. Please forgive me, I will never do it again.”
They beg. This cycle keeps going and you think that it is normal but no, that is not normal.

Love does not hurt; love does not bruise your face or leave you in the hospital bandaged with broken ribs. Love is supposed to protect you and not end your life.
I know that the most senseless advice is asking a person in love to leave that abusive partner but this should not be ignored.

No one deserves to die at the hands of their partner. Dear parents teach your children to say no to abuse, it is not ok and it is definitely not a sign of love like some people claim.

Most abusive partners have been abused at some point in their lives and the best way they claim to show love is to do the same. This is wrong and you, my dear, should not carry the burden of their past. You did not cause that abuse to them and you should not accept it.

It is rare that someone ends their partner’s life the first time they fight. It is usually a habit that grows and each time it escalates beyond the previous one.


It usually starts small with maybe a slap, you find an excuse for him and forgive him, then next time it is worse but the apology sounds heartfelt so you forgive again, your family and friends advise you to leave the relationship but your partner has mastered the art of apologizing that you fall prey again and again.

At some point, you get used to the cycle and stop fighting. This is when he strikes but this time, it might be too late to listen to your friends’ advice, it could be too late to walk away because then your pulseless body could be lying in a pool of blood waiting only to be buried. Your partner might be arrested but you my dear, will be no more.

How a partner gets an axe and starts chopping his wife like he is chopping firewood to cook for his children supersedes anyone’s understanding.

You might say that that individual has a mental challenge but my dear that too is not your responsibility. There is a reason why Uganda has Butabika Hospital. I watched painfully as the children explained to the media the ordeal in which their mother’s life was ended.

“Dad went and got an axe, mummy begged him not to kill her. We were in the bedroom and begged dad not to kill our mother but he couldn’t listen,” one of the child explained. Everyone around this couple knew that these two had issues but the woman refused to leave the house claiming that it was for their children.

My dear people, nothing is worth your life. Do not lose your life because of property. Be mindful of spouses who claim that they love you but hit you and buy your apology.