If you are not ready to be a father, stay celibate

“A reader sent me an email about her ordeal. She has a seven-month-old baby but her boyfriend denies the child every time they get into a fight.

When she asked me what to do, my heart was saddened. As a mother, it is her responsibility to protect her child from anything that could hurt her but as a woman, she is torn between loving this man and keeping her daughter safe.

I wonder whether the price of condoms is too high for some men who think they are old enough to indulge in a sexual relationship but too young to have a child? I am sure there are many healthy facilities that are willing to give out condoms for free so as to prevent the spread of diseases such as HIV/Aids and most importantly, to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

A man who threatens his child every time they have a disagreement is a disappointment to nature and to humanity. Some women wish they could disappear and never show up in the baby dad’s life but most mothers will swallow their pride to protect their children.

It is hard to raise a child as a single parent but it is heartbreaking for your child to know that his/her parents do not love him or her. A father is supposed to be his daughter’s first love and his son’s first superman. He is supposed to protect them from the world and all the pain that comes from it.

He as the father is supposed to be the shield against worldly pressure but if the father is the kind who runs away when things gets tough, then as a woman, you have to become the protector.

Do I support that you leave him and look for another man to father your child? Of course not. For so long, women have been forced to run every time a man roars but if we keep running, then we are not helping the situation. Unlike in developed countries where child support is mandatory, in Uganda we are still struggling with that.

It is sad that in the era of DNA, someone can still proudly stand and say, “That is not my child” just because the woman did not perhaps cook the way he wanted. If someone is not ready to be a parent, they can as well get a vasectomy.

A child is not a car for you to park somewhere every time you have no fuel. Once you become a father, you are a father forever. So dear men, it is time to man up and protect the future by protecting your children because your child does not take your name and clan because culture says so. There is a price to pay and if you do not do it, stay a virgin.