“Marriage is a prison” most people say and they make you feel like they mean it but a few months down the road you receive an invitation to their wedding and you wonder why they are checking themselves into the ‘prison’.
Life is mainly about what we think. If you think that you are unlucky then you will only see misfortune around you and yet people who are optimistic always see the good out of every situation. Likewise, if deep down in your heart you believe that marriage is nothing but a prison, then it would just be more sensible to stay away from it because who in their right mind is likely to walk to Luzira Prison and ask a prison’s guard to be cuffed and sentenced to life imprisonment?
When we were growing up, we were encouraged to chase dreams and go for what we want. Marriage is not for everyone. Hard as it sounds, our destinies are as different in relationships as they are with other aspects of life. It is not compulsory to be married. Much as your family and friends might be setting you up with every human being they meet, the decision is entirely yours.
In old times, once a girl was married off, her bed and mattress would be taken out as a symbol that she no longer had a reason to return to her parents’ house. That marriage was forcefully eternal and thinking otherwise would earn you lectures from the clan. Well, we are in the new era where human rights are respected and honored even when they do not make sense.
“Do you mean I can defy the traditional norms about marriage?” You might wonder but the real question should be, “what do you want as a human being?” Since we are not assured of life after death, isn’t it just fair to live this life as our hearts please. And if marriage is not anywhere on your bucket list then do not consider yourself crazy.
The worst thing that can ever happen to you as a married person is walking down that aisle with a belief that you are turning yourself into a prisoner. Because everything we do begins in the mind, if the mind perceives it as a wrong decision, it will only torture you.
Captivity begins in the mind; farmers have mastered this art where they chain their animals for quite enough time that once the animals stop fighting to be freed from the chains, even if the farmer takes them off, that animal will stay in the same position because the mind is already chained.
In the same way, if your mind already says that marriage is nothing but sorrow, pain and torture so will it be even if you miraculously end up with the best spouse, your head will always be lowered and eyes closed to the freedom.
If your joy is in staying alone for the rest of your dear life, go ahead and enjoy every bit of it other than chasing the wind and blaming it on other people who might say that marriage is a good thing.
Forget that nagging auntie who keeps tormenting you with the ‘When are you getting married’ topic and raise your head up. Life is what you make it, you write your own destiny and if you believe that marriage is nothing but Luzira prison, my dear stay away from it.