Life lessons we have learned from marriage

Obedi Kiyaga and Rachel Mbabazi have been married for two and a-half years and have lessons to share.

Obedi: I have learnt that marriage is wonderful and sweet when you marry a friend and not just for beauty or money and that children are great gifts from God. I have also learnt to be a caring person towards my spouse and children, loving to my wife and being tolerant in case my expectations are not met.

Rachel: I have learnt is that marriage has no formula. What has worked for a friend’s marriage may not work for you. Holding anger toward your spouse is a waste of time because this is your teammate and without them, no goals are achieved.

Forgiveness is key in marriage and as a couple, you ought to always fasten the cords that bind you together, connecting to deeper levels spiritually, physically, financially and socially, that no matter what tricks the devil and his agents use to divide you, nothing can work. Praying for each other on a daily basis is another great lesson. If you really want the marriage to work, prayer should be the centre of it all. Because there’s a lot of strong forces that will always fight marriage right from the minute you say “I do”.

We openly talk about issues that arise between us such as financial matters which has always kept us on the same page.

Malachi Kabaale & Miriam Lwantale (Been married for six years )
Malachi: I have learnt to be patient. This has helped us overcome a lot because the love between us supercedes all. I have also learnt that when you hide in the Lord everything turns out positive, he has always been our remedy. Also, let your partner’s needs come before yours.
If you surely love this person, think of how to surprise them and make them smile.

I remember last year when we lost our twins, it was so hurt but I recalled that during counselling, we were told that children are gift from God but my partner matters most, she is my first responsibility. So my love for her made me feel the pain she went through, to carry the two children and push them out dead, everything made me strong and love her more.

Miriam: I have always loved doing things that make me happy. It was about me, be it dress code or type of clothes I put on including the time I eat. But I have learnt that in marriage it ceases to be about a person but also their partner. This has taught me not to be selfish but rather be considerate and I have seen our live change for the better.

Ronald Lotete and Grace Mwesigwa (Six years together)
Ronald: I have learnt a number of things like; to always understand my partner because it’s never her intention to hurt me. Forgiveness is key to a stronger bond, planning together to avoid suspicion, marriage is a lifetime commitment therefore make it a happy moment because you won’t be sad the entire life, never talk much when angry, arguments really don’t yield. Sometimes you have to accept defeat so as create harmony. When one partner raises a voice, the other should be silent.

I have learnt that time heals all wounds, for any tough moments, give it time, it will come to pass. Also rumours mislead a lot and trust is the key to peace no matter Praying to God and reflection of the vows also re-models. Understanding that it is a lifetime commitment makes me seek for peace as conflict reduces the lifespan of any relationship.

Grace: I have learnt that you have to make very many sacrifices like; honouring each other’s strength, taking care of each other, communicating and listening, loving unconditionally, being patient, kindness, creating time for the children, respecting yourself and your partner, and most of all , forgiveness. If there is no forgiveness, things don’t work out.

Another thing I’ve learnt is that not everyone is happy for you, very many people are working very hard to see that your marriage doesn’t work. I always have to watch out for the circle of friends that I surround myself with. I have not found any big challenges yet but it’s a matter of communication and understanding each other.