Never use the threat of divorce against your partner

Thursday June 18 2020

Divorce should be used as the last resort after

Divorce should be used as the last resort after you have tried all other measures and failed. Manipulation in marriage should never be given a seat because it will only destroy it. PHOTO | SHUTTER STOCK 

By Christine Nakalungi

Commonly, a mind will perceive something before the mouth utters it out. After all, the Bible says that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. In so many marriages, some spouses are fast to threaten their spouses with divorce.

And once they realise that the other party is scared of it, then it becomes an arrow to use. They manipulate the other party into doing what they want.

It is true sometimes you have to remind the other party not to take you for granted but again, if you use divorce as a threat every single time, then you might as well go ahead and call your lawyer.

Divorce should be used as the last resort after you have tried all other measures and failed. Manipulation in marriage should never be given a seat because it will only destroy it. Eventually, the other partner will give up and give in. Before the word divorce comes out of your mouth, make sure that it is what you actually want just in case your partner agrees to it.

So, are you really ready to lose your marriage?
Marriage is not a joke and so is divorce. Forget what you have watched in movies where people get married in Las Vegas at the weekend and divorce on Monday. People invest heavily in marriage with emotions and time. So, why would you jeopardise that just because your spouse messed up once?

Shawn always thought that his wife loved him more than he loved her. He was handsome, smart and financially stable. His wife really loved him but one time she messed up and Shawn pulled out the divorce threat.

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His wife cried her eyes out and begged for forgiveness. He saw how desperate she became so he threatened her every time she did something wrong. Last month, however, he used the same card but to his shock, the woman welcomed the idea. She packed her stuff and told him that she will send her lawyer to meet up with his lawyer when she is settled.

For starters, once Shawn started threatening her with divorce, she perceived it as a warning sign not to dive deep into the marriage. She took a step back on starting a family because she did not want to be stuck with children once they got divorced.

The first time he threatened her with divorce is a time he planted a seed of doubt in her heart and when he did it over and over again, his wife emotionally withdrew from the relationship and when she had had enough, she welcomed the idea of divorce. To her, Shawn had never really loved her or he would not have used divorce as a tool to fight his battles.

Shawn is now in shock because although he knew that threatening his wife with divorce always got him what he wanted, it is not what he really wanted. He is now begging his wife to forget the divorce, which he initiated in the first place, and the wife will not have any of it. She on the other hand is happy to walk away and also to divide whatever he has as they annul the marriage.

It is never a good idea to manipulate the person you love. And karma is not as forgiving as people are.

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