She was one year ahead of me at school

Thursday October 3 2019

Emma and Margaret have now been married for

Emma and Margaret have now been married for three years and have two children. Courtesy photo 

By CHRISTINE KATENDE

I first met Margaret in 2009 at Jimmy Ssekasi institute, the current day Jimmy Ssekasi Business School. She was one year ahead of me.

One day, I was assigned to supervise a group of students that were going to provide catering services at a wedding. Margaret was one of them and that was the day I got to know her name.

Of the 30 students I worked with at that wedding, Margaret and her friend Sarah, exhibited a high level of diligence. Because of this, I always wanted to work with them every time we had to provide outside catering services.

She became an acquaintance with whom we’d communicate about work issues.
Unfortunately, they both completed their courses and left school in December 2010. Thankfully, I had asked for their phone numbers.

One day while I was going through my stuff , I came across the paper on which I had scribbled the phone numbers. I called Sarah and discovered that she was not in Kampala. Margaret, however, was in Kampala helping out her parents at their farm.

I remember her laughing when I suggested that I take her out of her parents’ house. After that call, I saved her number in my phone. We stayed in touch and I later invited her for an outing. When we met, I asked her to be my friend or better still, my future wife.

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Dating
During the time we dated, I noticed that Margaret was not high maintenance. She never asked for expensive things and she was so caring. This made me fall in love with her even more. In July 2013, I decided to open up about how I felt.

She didn’t respond positively immediately. I had to wait. Thankfully, she eventually accepted. We dated for one and a half years before the introduction took place on August 12, 2016 and were wed in church on August 13, 2016.

Keep love alive
•Never stop dating. It doesn’t matter how long you have been together or how busy you are never stop dating. Always set time aside to leave home and enjoy a meal together at a ‘nice’ resturant. This helps keep the memories of your first meeting alive.

Here’s how to make your first date work for you not against you

The way you date will often be a major determinant of how a relationship turns out.
In any case, if you are looking for a stable relationship, you will do well to get pickier and go for someone responsible and reliable, with whom you could build a future together.
The first step will always be your first date that will help you sift through wheat and chaff. Here’s a guideline on how to make that first date work for you:

Take your time before accepting a date:
According to Dr Chris Hart, a psychologist based in Nairobi, dating is not about love at first sight. It’s about weeding out frogs! “You can always spot persons who’ll eventually let you down long before they’ve finished chatting you up.

Don’t be too quick in deciding to go out with someone, or get all hung up in the excitement of having someone show interest in you,” he says. Dressing:
Take note of the type of date, the weather, location and time of day that you will be out together. These should help you pick an appropriate outfit that looks the part and that represents who you are.

Don’t be too anxious or too eager:
Resist the urge to reveal too much info about yourself. Bear in mind that during the first date, the trick is to always enjoy the company of a new person., so don’t go telling every new person you meet everything!

According to match.com, a match-making online portal, you may do well to engage in a few questions that revolve around feelings and values than formal facts.

For instance, you may opt to ask: ‘what do you love about your job?’ instead of ‘what do you do?’
Further, according to Dr Hart, you should space out your dates. “Don’t talk about the future, especially anything you aren’t too comfortable with, like weekends away or moving in together,” he adds.

Observe your date:
If you feel nice being close to your date, and there are mutual smiles and laughter, and real conversation, then you may want to think about a second date.
But Dr Hart warns against a date who portrays signs of neediness, insecurity, and who lacks good manners.

“Does he constantly look over his shoulders, stare into space, keep his distance, yawn, fake smiles, ask the same question twice? Also, if he doesn’t ask anything about you or if he stalls when you ask what he is doing the next day, don’t bother with a second date,” says Dr Hart.

This article was first published in Daily Nation.

ckatende@ug.nationmedia.com

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