Many a time couples find themselves questioning whether they are with the right partner. And this is despite being in courtship or marriage.
But thanks to relationships counsellor Francis Okweda such worries can rest through couples taking the ‘Sober Love Test’ that he developed four years ago.
Not only does the test guide one to choose the right partner, it also works as a tool for realising the loopholes in a relationship and ways to work towards solving them.
There being many relationship tests, how is the Sober Love Test different and effective?
To this, Okweda says the main difference between the Sober Love Test and the others, is that its questions were built on the foundation of spiritual values, psychology, and counselling experiences spread over several years of experience and observational studies.
“It has taken me four years to have the tool perform to its full potential. It all began as a quest to assess the values scripture identifies that are needed in the different persons that can make them a worthy spouse. This was after a period of counselling individuals who often conflicted at those very points regardless of their religious beliefs,” Okweda says.
How it was formed?
Questions were formulated based on scriptures, research, experience and psychology to test these values. A different set of questions for the values men need in women and another set for the values women need in men were created.
The questions were then used on different people at different stages in relationships.
The people had different ethnic, academic and religious backgrounds - some married, engaged, courting, separated, or having a crush.
Okweda notes that the relationships assessed were either in good standing or conflict. Their progress was monitored over a period of time and the results were used to develop the advice given in the analysis, a final section of the test.
Majority of people that have sought the test’s guidance are usually torn between a pair or more prospective partners. Others were not certain about whether to marry their partners whereas some singles were interested in someone who does not even know it (crush).
The test also acts as refuge for couples seeking to do a diagnostic assessment of what areas of their relationships need improvement or to simply know what the score would be. Some couples who are at crossroads in their relationships or marriages pursue it as well as those who want to know who has a crush on them.
If you get negative results
When asked about what the test’s implication could be on couples who get negative results, Okweda says, the tool often gives clues of the outcome. Therefore, the results are usually not shocking as it often clears the confusion one has on a partner, crush or spouse without it suggesting a break up but a means for someone to make their own decision.
“The test does not decide your course of action. It simply reveals the state of the relationship and gives positive recommendations on what to do to make your relationship better besides guiding you to other detailed reading resources,” Okwenda says.
According to Okweda, so far the test kit has realised good results although he continues to monitor the statistics for effective management. There are tentative result ranges that show that most couples who took the test while courting have married.
And those who were married, the marriage is characterised by a healthy, transparent, happy and admirable relationship.
“There is also a percentage score below which all the married couples we monitored were in constant conflicts and if unmarried hardly proceeded to marry. This score is actually not so low. The good news is the tool detects a problem and gives counsel appropriately.”
He adds: “Since in the first four years we were making observations, we made no conclusive advice for whichever score was attained. What still shocks us though, is that every couple that has taken the test so far with our knowledge seemed to get a similar range of results with the same advice even though these are entirely different people, with different beliefs and given different questions.”
Tips: How it works
Okweda explains that the test tool is both gender sensitive and age restricted. Only those above 18 years can take it. It can be accessed on www.everestgauge.com.
He says the intention of the tool is to help individuals make an informed decision in life-long partnerships such as marriage thus the questions focus more on the needs rather than the wants of couples. These needs are gender specific and universal.
The questions give statements against which you weigh your significant other on a scale of one to four, where one means untrue and four means very true. When results are submitted, it returns a percentage score between 25 and 100 per cent then a personalised detailed analysis of results is given.
In the analysis, the tool may also recommend books to guide one on their quest for a relationship whose links are available and the books can be read online or downloaded free of charge.
In addition, the website gives contact information for the counselling team which one can ask detailed or specific questions or even schedule free counselling sessions depending on their situation.
When results are availed, the tool also sends a copy to your email and it is from here that further consultation can be made. The person taking the test also gets to know the status of their relationship and how they could make it better or any other necessary guidance.
“Every question either brings out a frown or excitement. I was happy when I got my results because they were good. However, I was skeptical about what I would score on my partner’s results. He also took the test but I did not tell him my results. Our scores both turned out to be in the same range.”
Mbabazi Lilian, IT Specialist
“I took the Sober Love Test and after I got married to my wife. It did not reveal to me new information about my relationship. It was a series of many questions which I do not remember but I know it only confirmed how my relationship was at the time.”
Ashe Senkatuuka Mukisa, computer scientist