To find out if marriage works, get married

Thursday March 21 2019

Some things work out for others and disappoint

Some things work out for others and disappoint many. COURTESY PHOTO 

By Christine Nakalungi

It is human nature to judge a book before we even read the first page and no matter how many times we hear the adage, “never judge a book by its cover,” we just do it anyway. Many people use the ‘marriage does not work’ excuse to stay away from any form of commitment, claiming his friend’s marriage never worked out. Well, we are all living on the same planet but each with different fate. What works for your neighbour might not work for you and what works for you might never work for your sibling.

Seldom times, I watch sports supporters playing coach seated in their living room or watching from the sideline. They judge the players by each mistake they make and if you do not know better, you might think they are better than the actual players but if a test is given, most, if not all, will wet their pants and fall before they even kick the ball.

Same thing has been imported into serious matters of life such as marriage. People are fast to judge those whose marriage has failed and others are quick to advise the married friends to walk away from the marriage.

On the other hand, if you attend a wedding anniversary and the couple speaks of how they have been able to keep it together, you are tempted to try it out with hopes that you too might one day celebrate 10 or even 50 years in marriage. Does marriage really work? Most people will ask. Well, if you want to find out, you better test the water and see for yourself. Regardless of what custom tells us, there is no manual for a successful marriage.

We have been surprised to see some marriages survive and shocked to see others fail. But so is life. Some things work out for others and disappoint many. Whatever blessings or curses you think come from getting married, you better try it out and write your own story. After all, you will not go to jail over a failed marriage or even lose your breath if it works out or not. Yes, the community might judge you if it fails or applaud when it does, but the only way to find out is to try.

Life is full of risks, if your marriage works out, take your spouse out every anniversary and thank God but if it does not, consider that a wrong tomato among the basket and choose again. For the treasures of life are not on a surface for everyone to receive, you have to put in an effort and find it. Try it and thank me later. Or don’t and you will never find out whether it could have worked out for you or not. It is time to stop spectating from the sideline, get in the game and write your own story.