Want a successful relationship? Work together

Thursday June 6 2019

Not everything about a relationship is perfect.

Not everything about a relationship is perfect. Talking about problems or potential problems is not an admission of failure. net photo 

By PHILIP KITOTO

Though working alone will eventually get the job done, it goes without saying that if you work as a team, you will not only get the job done faster, but the results will also be better.
This is a worthwhile lesson if you are in a relationship. Nurturing it alone will get you some results, but watering and tending to it together will be more fruitful, and eventually give birth to a happy and fulfilling relationship.

Why work alone?
The first answer to this question is that we have different goals. This means that either one partner or both feel that they cannot achieve much together because they have different visions.
In my view, that is based on the wrong assumptions that people can only work together when their visions are alike; the truth is very different.
The truth is that being in a relationship is not about becoming copies of each other, but working together to achieve individual goals as well as common ones.

You need to put in the time
Relationships are about breaking barriers - emotional, mental, psychological, even physical barriers. This is hard work that requires time and effort to yield results.
Simply put, it is the process of converting two to one. Unfortunately, many people feel that this is too tedious, and opt to do things alone, in the process creating distance between them and their partner.

Slow pace
Another important one is when one feels that moving together slows him down. It does not necessarily mean that he does not want to involve the other, rather, he feels that he will get results faster if he does things his own way and at his own pace.
These are just a few possible scenarios, but of course, each couple would have a unique set of reasons.

Why work together?
The one word I can use to respond to this question is effectiveness.
Imagine a child carrying a plateful of hot porridge with one hand. Chances are that the porridge will not get to its destination, not forgetting the added risk of scalding.
Likewise, doing things alone reduces the level of effectiveness with which common goals are achieved.

Avoids mistakes
Also, major mistakes that people make could be avoided if a couple undertook projects together. This is because we are endowed differently, first as individuals as well as through gender.
Mistakes that an individual could make because of his/her nature might be spotted from mile away by someone else, and this is important if you want to succeed - it does not hurt having someone who loves you watching after you.

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It nurtures the relationship
Perhaps the most important reason people should work together is because it has a positive impact on the relationship. It pulls the couple together and helps them to know each other much better. It also provides the necessary safeguard for failure because the couple takes joint responsibility.
In this way, they not only prosper in what they do, but also develop a better relationship, one that can withstand the pressure of either failure or success.
As the adage goes, if you want to go fast, walk alone, but if you want to go far, walk together.
That is very true in relationships because, although working together might have its challenges, you cover much more ground and do a much better job.

This article was initially published in the Daily Nation

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