We have no problem expressing our love for each other on social media

Wednesday August 12 2020
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Former Miss Uganda Dorah Mwima and Nader Barrak. PHOTO | COURTESY

A number of notable couples tend to cringe at the idea of expressing love for each other on social media. The reasons vary from couple to couple including not being sure of the relationship (or even marriage), valuing privacy more, and the fear of having other people like their partners or taken away by other suitors, among others reasons.

Former Miss Uganda Dorah Mwima and Nader Barrak, belong to the category that loves to share posts about their marriage on their respective social media accounts. Besides expressing their thoughts, the couple often shares naughty posts about each other.

Why they post about their love and marriage
The couple says they are uninhibited on social media because they have nothing to hide. Mwima says, “One of the reasons I post pictures of my husband on social media is because I want other women to know that there are actually good men out there and that marriage can be blissful.”

Overall, Mwima says she wants to change the negative picture other people have of marriage and by posting about marriage she hopes to show that this lifetime commitment can actually be interesting and fun.

Barrak also believes if one loves their partner, is proud and trusts them, then, they should be happy to share it on social media. “Personally, I do think that the reason why people don’t want to openly post about their partners on social media is because of an element of lack of trust, not being proud of their partner or simply because they like someone else.”

For all their gushy display on social media, the couple is quick to stress that they are not perfect and their aim is not to mislead their followers and friends into thinking so. “We are simply living our lives. We are happy to document the things that make our marriage special,” Barrak says.

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The lowest moments
Mwima and Barrak have had their own share of ups and downs during their six years of marriage. One of those was in 2017, when Barrak tendered in his resignation letter at Darling Hair Extensions after the company proposed the idea of reposting him to either Ethiopia or Malawi.

The couple was not comfortable with the idea as they were already comfortable raising a family in Uganda and besides during this particular year (2017) Mwima was expecting twins. Relocation would mean starting life all over again in no man’s land.
And so he resigned and was out of work for about nine months.

“It was one of the most trying times for our marriage. My morale was always down. Imagine being a head of house and not being able to have the financial muscle to provide for the family especially in a crucial time when your wife is expecting,” he says, adding, “There were times I would easily get agitated and continuously remind everyone to use resources sparingly. It was a tough time,” he relates.

Mwima understood what her husband was going through and was reassuring. But she also ventured into the decoration business and began making some money for the family.

At a certain point, Barrak was forced to return to his home country, Lebanon, where he applied for a job. He did the interviews and passed. He was eventually trained and reposted back to Uganda as a country manager for a power company.

Dealing with conflicts and temptations in marriage
From time to time, the couple has disagreements on different things, just in like any other marriage.
“Like other couples we have our moments of bickering and quarreling,” Mwima confides.

Barrak adds, “And on some occasions, we apply the silent treatment mode where we pass each other in the house, annoyed and not talking. In such circumstances, no one will be willing to come out first to apologise.”
Regardless, the couple says they always eventually find a way of reconciling and talking like best friends again.

In order to avoid inviting temptations into their marriage, the couple says they have strict boundaries especially when dealing with the opposite sex.

“We believe in not creating room for temptation which can be difficult to fight in the end. A lot of unfaithfulness in marriages starts from temptation, so, we always try to avoid that,” Barrak says.

Mwima adds, “For instance, for a night out, we go together, avoid flirtatious tendencies with other people and remind those who may express interest that we are committed in marriage.”

Advice
From time to time, Mwima says women approach her asking her to connect them to a foreign man because they think they will make better partners.

“What some people may not know is that I did not just hook up with my husband out of the blue. We happened to meet at work, became friends for a while before unexpectedly falling in love. And the funny thing was that I did not want us ending up together as a couple but things happened,” she says.

Barrak also believes there are a women who love foreign men for material benefits and other superficial reasons.
“But the thing is, it is not about one’s skin colour or country of origin that will make your marriage work. It all boils down to the kind of man you get regardless of where he comes from,” he says.

The Back story
Mwima and Barrak first met in 2010 while respectively working at Darling Hair Extensions. They became friends and later fell in love. Eventually, they tied the knot on May 25, 2014. The couple says transitioning into married life was difficult in the beginning because they had to shift their relationship from friendship to a married couple.
“ When we were friends, I would tell him anything but once we got married, he would flinch at some of the things I mentioned, therefore, I started being careful on what I would say to him,” Mwima concludes.

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