When it’s selfish to apologise for breaking someone’s heart

Thursday May 21 2020


By Christine Nakalungi

I know that it is human to apologise every time you do something wrong but doing something you know will cause someone heartache is unacceptable.

“I am so sorry for breaking your heart,” many people claim. After this statement, they become defensive and start playing the victim. Then you, who is nursing a broken heart is blamed for being cold-hearted.

“He apologised, why don’t you forgive him?” They will ask. Well, this game of playing victim by someone who keeps breaking people’s hearts should stop.

How can a man with a fiancé or wife or a married woman claim to have started a relationship by mistake? By the time someone decides to start a relationship, they have been praying day and night and when you approached them, they put in time, money and feelings just so this relationship flourishes.

Real people have real feelings and unless your intentions are genuine, it is best to keep your desires to yourself.

Shamim’s ex-boyfriend who hid the fact that he was a married man with children has been nursing wounds for the past two weeks.


Apparently, his pregnant wife found out and when she threatened to divorce him and take the children, the husband begged for mercy and asked her for forgiveness.

The woman then set a condition that unless he was willing to bring his mistress (Shamim) and both of them apologise to her, then maybe she would consider forgiving him.

The man convinced Shamim to go to his home but did not say why. When they arrived, she was hit by the script to apologise to the wife. Was she shocked? You bet. She could not even get out of the car. Tears started rolling down her cheeks.

“I am so sorry but I cannot lose my family,” he said. Please do this for me and I will find a way to make it up to you.

Shamim finally swallowed her pride and apologised to the wife. She says she did it because she did not even know that the man was married so yes, she apologised to the woman and as she left, she called one of her brothers and told him what had happened to her.

The brother, with every male relative he could get in contact with paid the ‘ex-boyfriend’ a visit and in front of his wife, they did what they called ‘teaching him a lesson’. The wife seemed to have enjoyed it because she wished she had done it herself.

They made him swallow his apology because sorry could not erase the heartache he had caused to their sister. So yes, if you make a bed with thorns, be ready to lay in it.