Dear Heart to Heart,
My wife is selfish. She never pays any the bill. Even when it is a mere Shs10,000, she still waits for me to pay! Where is it written that the wife shalt not pay any bill? This is such a deal breaker. Am I being petty?
Phoebe Miriam Dear frustrated husband, Please do it without complaining! It is your wife’s duty to look after you and the home! Her duties range from house chores, to taking care of the children, etc. I advise you to sit down with her and work through these duties together! I believe you will appreciate each other more if you take the trouble to closely analyse each other’s contribution and be thankful. This will ensure each of you compliments the other as and how you work towards boosting your marriage.
Robert Masaba Kissa My brother, the good news is you are not the only man going through this. Some women always leave home very early in the morning and return very late in the night or even stay away for months pretending to be busy working but can never spend any of their money at home to buy even a matchbox and when they feel like walking out of the marriage, they always want to take everything the man has single handedly and painfully acquired for the family.
Alvin Johnson There’s much you should cast your attention to and work on like maintaining honest, open communication about your expenses and income, creating a plan that works for both of you despite your money baggage and being fixed on a shared goal. By this guess you can avoid the fights about money. Your relationship might be a 50-50 commitment however on bills, it cannot be assumed the same.
Nalongo I am a very independent woman but I will refuse to deliberately contribute to bills if a man earns three times more than me and I see him spending money on valueless projects like gold necklaces of 20,000 euros and yet we are renting.
Richie K. Ludwig As a man, you take on major responsibilities of the family. Worse still if you didnt start you relationship sharing costs, why should you expect that at a later stage you are going to start sharing them? Carry your cross. No one sent you into marriage.
Patience Nampa Maybe you are not being is open to your wife. Tell her about how you feel towards all that. If you are to develop then you need to discuss everything together
Carol Mukisa Cartnel Your issue is communication. With right and timely communication, that will be sorted out.
Jesse Tom K I see your name is Ivan – meaning you are Christian and that makes me believe that you made christian vows.
Have ever taken time to comprehend them or do they make any sense to you? Before you made the vows, did you receive any counselling?
At my church, counselling takes three months before the wedding and you’d get to discover and learn about a whole lot of things including finances and how they should be managed in a marriage - did your receive any information about that?
Vio Vio Love is about giving, but lust is about taking.
Phoebe Miriam Dear frustrated husband, it is your role as a man to pay bills in your house!
Sandra Muwonge So simple to deal with just share the home bills and u take the highest part.
Detta Amara To answer your question, yes you’re being petty.
Sanya Mahulo I think under this circumstance, support from both the partners is what makes a relationship stronger and also marriage greater when a man can’t afford or he is not around, a woman can cover the bills.
Linda Nante If you feel what she is doing is wrong, why not talk to her and tell her how you feel. She might even have no idea that you are offended by her behaviour. If, however, you have already spoken to her and she is still ‘stingy’ like you put it, then maybe it is time for you to cut back on how much you spend especially on her.
Stephen Langa, Family Life Network. Agree on how bills are covered
There is no written law that a woman shall not pay bills in as much as the principal is that the man is the provider. Stemming from marriage vows, ‘all I have, I give to you’, the principle is that all money, irrespective of who makes it, is our money. So the issue now is on who manages it and that varies from couple to couple. In your case, it is her money and his money. But they need to graduate from this mentality. When that is done, there needs to be transparency in how money is handled.
Compiled by Joan Salmon
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