Your partner’s past belongs in the past

Thursday March 12 2020

When you ask about why their past relationships

When you ask about why their past relationships didn’t work out, and they don’t want to answer those personal details you’re dying to know, things can become a little more complicated. Shutter Image 

By Christine Nakalungi

Everybody has a past, present and future. When you are lucky enough to meet someone and fall in love, enjoy the present with them and create a future together.

Do not ask questions such as how many exes she has or when she lost her virginity and the like.

Like the adage goes, let sleeping dogs lie because sometimes when you wake them up, you might end up being bitten. Sometimes a constant interest in a partner’s past can get the better of you, and you might end up asserting all of your energy into finding out who they used to be in order to really understand who they currently are.

But what happens if all this research leads to hurt feelings, and subsequently, becomes the cause of your relationship failing?

Digging into your partner’s past without their consent can bring up issues of distrust. Without knowing their side of the story results in unnecessary conclusions being drawn.

Avoiding this by bluntly asking your partner questions about their past is one possible solution, but what makes you assume your partner will be comfortable with answering? When you ask about why their past relationships didn’t work out, and they don’t want to answer those personal details you’re dying to know, things can become a little more complicated.

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When we were young, we acted like children and were stupid, but it is part of our life journey and it has shaped most of us into who we are now.

So, if you judge and treat your partner according to what they did under peer pressure and influence of adolescence, it will be unfair to them and a nightmare to you.

I suggest you pretend like they were born yesterday and not go around trying to find a reason to break up with her under the guise of trying to find out who they are.

Believe what your partner tells is the truth and if you find that they are not worth spending the rest of your life with, then tell them the truth and walk away.

Everyone has a past and unless someone wants to tell you about it, you have no right to dig around because much as when two are married, they become one their past remains personal and no bride price can purchase it. Avoid stress and live in the present. Life is better that way.

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