Dealing with love

Sunday January 8 2012

By Peter Kakoma

The practical ways of making your life better. And easier. And making you that person that people’s eyes brighten around, not because of the copious amounts of alcohol they’ve been chugging down, but because of how people are fascinated by your company. Taxi drivers, the butcher, boda boda riders, your boss, your lecturer...they all involuntarily lean in when you take a seat next to them and eat up everything you say.

So to further this agenda, the writer of this column is going to talk about love. He also knows only too well that you did all kinds of justice to more than generous portions of fruits, vegetables and all kinds of unhealthy food during the last two weeks.

So much as love is the general topic today, in particular, he is going to talk about love handles. If probed further, he’d reveal that he’s actually going to deal with how to get rid of the love handles you developed over the last two weeks.

For those not well-versed in matters of the gut, love handles are those bits of extra flesh we now all have at the side of our belly. All websites I visited insisted that one has to go to the gym to get rid of them. I’d hoped for a less strenuous solution, like staring intently at people working out on TV, but nature is rather cruel.

So yes, a trip to the gym is what we all need this month. Now I’m told gyms have a very strict dress code and code of conduct. For one, you cannot just show up in a suit no matter who you are. Many of my friends who are lawyers have shown up in those nice, fitting suits that lawyers wear, ready to sweat it out only to be turned away at the door. I feel their pain. I’m all for ‘wear-what-you-want-to-the-gym’. I think that with the attitude that these people who turn away those in suits, our beloved country will never see development.

What happened to love, care, tolerance, acceptance and then sniggering behind people’s backs after? Why should a man/woman, after a long, hard day (or even one spent chewing gum and sticking the over-chewed pieces under workmates’ desks) at work be turned away when they get to the gym just because of what they are wearing? I think gyms do not care about love in general and love handles in particular.

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