Do you have a right to your partner’s phone?

Thursday May 14 2020

Everyone has things they want to keep private.

Everyone has things they want to keep private. Do not take that away from someone else, especially someone you love. NET PHOTO 

By Joan Salmon

In relationships, the phone has led to suspicion, quarrels, fights and ultimately breakups. While some have become married to their phones, others have got into a habit of snooping in their partner’s phone.
Concerned with the rate at which phones are becoming the dot that connects couples to breakups, one asked why a partner would not leave their significant other’s phone alone. “With social media such as Whatsapp, you may belong to several groups and have no control over what is sent. For example, people will send you questionable videos. If your partner were to peruse through the videos, chances of them thinking that you are engaged in promiscuous relationships or watching pornography are high. That is why partners should stay away from each other’s phone,” anonymous said.

Two become one
But what happens to the Bible verse that says, “...and then two shall become one.”? “Why should it be a problem that I check your phone? That means there is something sinister that you want to keep from me,” the argument continued.
While it is healthy to have boundaries in relationships, it is also important that partners trust each other. Peter Wandera says our lovers’ phones are a no-go zone. “However, that is not how all lovers handle their issues as some share their phones because they have nothing to hide,” he says.

No-go area
Ibrahim Lovelace says he loves flirting. Therefore, his phone is a no go area. “My partner would kill me if they looked through my phone,” he says.
Joe Nsibirwa is against partners touching their significant other’s phone without their express permission. “Know your boundaries and only answer their phone if you two have agreed you can answer the phone in their absence. Other than that, never touch your partner’s phone no matter how much you trust them,” he says.
Sandra Nantumbwe says: “It is not okay to check my partner’s phone unless he requests me to.” In regards to one hiding their phone all the time, Nantumbwe says she would politely ask them why and talk about it.

Experts say
Evelyn C K Lufafa, a counselling psychologist, says ccommunication in a family is key and the appropriate answer to most marital issues.
Lufafa notes that phones or social media are not the problem. “If you receive WhatsApp messages from people you sincerely have nothing to do with, be open with your partner and talk about it. You can go ahead and show them to your partner. This will open up a clear communication line,” she advises.
While some think that simply deleting unwanted or storm-brewing content is enough, Lufafa says deleting will solve the problem today but seeing that you are human, you will forget at one point and they will see them. “This will send a different message to your partner.”
Looking at relationship stability, Lufafa says it is important to learn your mate and know what annoys them as well as what makes them happy.