MOTHERHOOD: How our lives changed after having children

Thursday October 25 2018



Jacinta Ntale, a mother of two

Jacinta Ntale, a mother of two 

By Dorcus Murungi

According to Margaret Tumusiime, a counsellor with Girl Talk Uganda, couples often experience more conflict after babies arrive because of the so many new roles.
“Some couples suddenly give less time to their partner’s needs and themselves. Much of the attention shifts to the baby and this might affect intimacy between the partners. The baby in most cases comes with too much responsibility which might dig into the couples’ finances and affect the relationship as well,” she says.
She observes that these issues that arise from getting children can be a source of stress, frustration and conflict for both you and your partner.
However, she says when a couple gets children, it is important for the two to negotiate their roles and share expectations which can help to keep the relationship strong.

Rebecca Ichimo, mother of three

Before having children, my husband and I were free while in the house, we could dress any way we wanted and cuddle freely while in the living room. Also we would go out more frequently. But after having children, we have to be more careful around the house. We also go out less frequently because we want to spend as much time as possible with the children.
We also save the money we would have spent on the outings and use it instead on providing for the children.

Flavia Naluyima, mother of two

After we had a baby, my husband’s commitment towards our relationship increased, he even started working harder so as to provide for us.
Also, my workload increased because I have to balance work, my relationship and the baby. But I find it fun, because that is what makes a woman.

Percy Katama, mother of one

My husband gives too much attention to the baby. Each time he returns from work he gets the baby and starts playing with it. Although I might not get as much time with him as I would have wanted, I thank God that he loves our child that much.

Sylvia Nakayondo, mother of two

When I gave birth to our first child, my husband loved me more than he did before. His trust in me also greatly improved and that is when we started living in the same house.
To me, the child was a blessing

Elizabeth Manana, mother of two
Children really brought joy into our lives. We were married legally in church and my husband and I had already started staying together; so our first child was no surprise. We embraced it and focused on working hard to give them the best. On the relationship bit of it, our children bind us together even more.

Jacinta Ntale, mother of two

At first, my attention changed more towards the child. However, I kept it at the back of my mind that when my husband needs my attention, I find time to attend to him as well. As time went on, we agreed among ourselves to set aside our alone time without the baby at least once in a week.
And I am happy that my husband really loves the child, sometimes I find myself competing with the baby for his attention.

Elizabeth Manana, mother of two
Children really brought joy into our lives. We were married legally in church and my husband and I had already started staying together; so our first child was no surprise. We embraced it and focused on working hard to give them the best. On the relationship bit of it, our children bind us together even more.

Marion Bameka, mother of one

Since the birth of our child, we have grown, are more focused and have purposed to work hard so as to be able to provide for our child and the family as a whole. This has also greatly changed how we think and how we act. Where we used to go out almost every night, partying is slowing fading away from our lives.

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