Why can’t women just say what they mean?

Thursday May 14 2020

Say what you want and mean what you say.

Say what you want and mean what you say. INTERNET PHOTO 

By Christine Nakalungi

Someone raised in the Western culture told me that Africans are raised in a way that they cannot really express themselves in terms of what they want unlike them (people in the Western world) who will speak their mind.

Much as I wanted to defend the way we are raised, which I am really proud of, I realised that sadly, it is true. We are raised in a way that we even fear to approach a man we really like, stand up to that abusive boss or anyone in power. Well, times are changing and if you are among the young generation, it is time to wake up.

Last week, a reader wrote to me complaining about women who fear to say what they really want and blame the husband if he cannot add up the dots. So, I ask, would you rather say that you want to get married to your boyfriend or play him songs such as Rema Namakula’s “Siri Muyembe”?

I know that most of us are shy and cannot say what we really mean but I think it might be the only way to save our relationships.

It is better to say it out loud and feel ashamed than always blaming yourself for keeping quiet. Most people also suffer from depression because they have a lot of issues and ideas built up but can never say. Do not wait to go to a psychologist to air out the issues that would not have hurt you emotionally in the first place.

I have always heard my fellow girls say, “I tried showing him all the signs but he just ignored them.” Now I know that maybe he just did not read between the lines. Maybe it would have been clearer to him in words than using nonverbal language.


“How are you?” he asks “I am alright” you reply. “But you look sad, is everything alright?” he insists. “I am okay” you say that but deep down you want to burst because he forgot your birthday. And you hope that with the non-verbal language, he will miraculously remember and act accordingly.

Well, he might not and just saying the truth would maybe have solved all that. Say what you want and mean what you say. It just makes everyone’s life easier.