A mother trains her daughter how to conduct business at their shop in Wakiso. PHOTO/MICHAEL KAKUMIRIZI
As April began, my son sat beside me, wide-eyed, watching as I scribbled in my journal. It was a time to evaluate the past month, set personal values, create a theme, and set the stage for the new month and quarter. Curious, he asked, "Mama, what are you doing?" I smiled and replied, "I'm writing down my dreams for the month." His small face lit up, and he grabbed a pencil, eager to join me.
In many African homes, the new beginnings are more than just a date on the calendar. They are moments of reflection on what lies ahead and how to make the most of the time and opportunity. This could be a new year, a new term, a new school, and so much more. For parents, it is also a powerful opportunity to teach your children valuable lessons about goal-setting.
Ms Agatha Kabugho, a child mentor says resolutions or goals come from a place of reflection. Even for children, there must be a place of looking back with honesty to see the things that worked or went well and those that did not.
“Resolutions result from a process that leads them to appreciate the need for fresh goals. These create a roadmap and/or a pathway to follow,” she says.
Even pre-schoolers can benefit from learning how to set and work towards their goals.
Ms Abigail Kabugho, the founder of Kidspreneur Uganda, says resolutions are not just about good grades; they can include learning new skills, spending time with family, or practising kindness.
Teach children about resolutions
Agatha says it should start with the children writing down their best memories of the past season while including their celebrations therein. “Let the children point out what they did not like/ what did not go well.”
For instance, as the first term comes to a close, it is a moment for them to reflect on the events therein, where they excelled, where they need to improve, and what needs reworking.
She then advises parents and guardians to take the children through a moment of thinking forward. For instance, ask key questions like, “What do you want the next term to be like? What do you want to see?”
“It is also very important that you ask the child how they would like to be supported to achieve their dreams,” she adds.
Abigail adds that to help children practise impactful resolutions, one needs to encourage them to set resolutions that are specific, realistic, and aligned with their interests. For example, instead of saying, "I will be better at Math," you could encourage them to write, "Practice math for 15 minutes daily."
“As they set these goals, encourage them to focus on positive actions rather than unrealistic promises like "stop being lazy at math,” she says.
Approach
Agatha says she found it important to help children set goals in three categories: academic, behavioural, and project goals, to achieve an all-around consideration of life at their level.
Academic: What positive changes and achievements do they want to see in their academics?
“These should be drawn from their previous struggle or challenge to aim at improvement,” she says.
Behavioural: What changes do they want to make in their behaviours? “This must be something they have realised to be a negative or defeating behaviour. They must desire to be a better person,” she says. It could be something like eating on time, sleeping early, and drinking water.
To this effect, Agatha developed the Behaviour Change Chart tool that helps children state one or three behaviours they would like to work on to be a better person.
“The child daily checks themselves by colouring the smiley that best represents how they did that day. The tool uses the three traffic lights colours to score themselves. There is then an overall colour for the week, and at the end of three weeks, the parent/caregiver (who approves the daily score) can assess transformation,” she says.
This is something they can do, even when they return to boarding school.
Project: What project do they want to embark on? It should be something hands-on, one they can work on and monitor.
“It helps if this is a skill that can be pursued, such as crocheting, bead work or farming, say rabbit keeping,” she advises.
The dynamics vary for children who are in boarding school, and this calls for crafting a realistic project.
To help the teens who attend her mentorship classes, Agatha takes them through the Identity and Dreams programme to go on a self-discovery journey where they set up purpose projects that are monitored throughout the year.
Abigail notes that setting resolutions teaches children valuable life skills like goal setting, planning, prioritising, patience, and adapting.
“These key skills will help them thrive in a fast-changing world and develop self-discipline and confidence, laying the foundation for success as adults,” she says.
Additionally, this simple practice nurtures essential life skills like resilience, critical thinking, self-confidence, and emotional intelligence.
“These traits prepare them for challenges of life,” Abigail says.
Empower children
To empower children to stick to their goals, Agatha says parents and guardians should help them find accountability not just with them but with their peers.
“While a parent can remind a child to follow through with their goal, there is more morale built when a peer does that. You can also add cousins to the circle, which will empower more than your child,” she says.
Parents should also encourage them to tick every goal achieved in a set period, say a day, week or month, and celebrate small wins along the way.
“Create visual reminders, such as a progress chart to keep track of their progress, and involve them in regular check-ins to adjust. Noting the wins makes it easier to see how far the child has gone. Moreover, when we celebrate our wins, we are empowered to keep going. That also applies to children as it will help them remain on course,” she says.
Be present as a parent to offer guidance and encouragement, otherwise, Agatha says the child will easily drop off the wagon.
Remember to break the goals into achievable bits/steps so the child does not get overwhelmed.
As you help your child set resolutions this year, allow them to dream big yet guide them to take small steps towards those dreams.
