Best Hotel Busega needs no introduction. When we wrote about its sauna section about three years ago, it became clear from the online reactions to the viral story that the vast majority of the readers were already very familiar with it. Over the last few years, however, the notoriety of the ‘hotel’ has grown exponentially mostly because of the growth of TikTok over the same time. Steamy party videos keep emerging from the hotel and making their way to people’s phones through the short-videos app, attracting more patrons to this house of utter debauchery.
And as the hotels’ notoriety grew, so did its pool of patrons, finances and facilities. One of the new facilities at the hotel is the VVIP Lounge. This is where all the things you have heard about Best Hotel Busega are maxed out. No holds barred. Nothing is off the table. This lounge, whose actual name is The Billionaires Club, occupies the whole top floor of the newly constructed side building at the hotel. An entrance ticket costs a whopping Shs70,000.
Part of the perks you get for being a VVIP is that you are escorted to the lounge by some sort of valet from the ticketing office. Kinda makes you feel like you have not overpaid after all. As you go one flight of stairs at a time, your personal valet (for lack of a better term) acts as your tour guide as you pass the different sections of the party house like the massage rooms and the VIP section.
At the VVIP lounge entrance, you are checked to ensure that you don’t enter with a smartphone or any sort of camera. All hand gadgets must stay behind. Interestingly, you are charged Shs3,000 for that service, which is a fine really, no matter how you look at it. The wristband ticket is then checked for authenticity in the presence of the valet I mentioned earlier. He only leaves your side after you have passed the final bouncer. The Billionaires’ Club is a small dancehall with an oversized jacuzzi in the farthest corner, a bar at the back, a seating area on the left, and a raised stage with a chrome-plate pole where pole dancing takes place.
The whole place is darkly lit so that you’d have to really get close to someone to recognise them. All these things become clear to you slowly as the initial shock sheds off. Because the first thing that catches your attention is the number of naked women standing everywhere in the lounge. This is why you paid the high ticket price. This is a lounge for randy men. It is a haven for lustful men. When a man enters, he makes a beeline for the bar at the opposite end of the dancefloor, pretending not to see all the steamy goings on everywhere.
A man must first catch a breath and drink a beer before making a move. But as soon as the man has sat on the bar stool, without fail, the madam approaches with two or three girls. The girls, fully exposed, are instructed to make the man happy by whatever means necessary. So they will hang on his arms, give him lap dances and so on. Whatever the man wants, they will do. They are at his service. They are instructed to be nice to him. Their job is to loosen the man up and prepare him for a night of unbridled debauchery. This is why he paid a high ticket price.
Jacuzzi
The biggest attraction in the VVIP lounge is the jacuzzi of course. Ultimately, the men that party in here will end up in the jacuzzi with a girl chosen from the sea of girls milling about all over the place. It is akin to a heated pool except that the water here is infused with soap to sterilise it and it has ceiling waterfalls to keep the water fresh. While there is some underwater lighting, it is so dim that you can barely see the facial features of the people seated in it. But the little you see the men’s faces will show that they are living their best lives.
Because nothing beats stroking the wet skin of a woman while drinking beer. And if the two of you are tired of the water (wink), there are pods all along the walls where the two of you can disappear behind sliding doors and have a one-on-one. But that is for regular men. There are some dudes whose fetish is to play their game in the spotlight, right on the pole dancing stage.
Remember the Best Hotel steamy video that went viral some two years ago? It was shot on the same stage. There are men in this town whose fetish is to show their prowess publicly. The man who runs the place is an unassuming middle aged man who knows something about running a hangout place that others don’t. He is currently pioneering true redlight culture in Uganda, crossing line after line in a city where bar owners feverishly stick to music and beer, and Ugandans are here for it.
The numbers are staggering. The toilet is shared between men and women. Afterall, what's the point? You've been in the jacuzzi naked together. Why separate you in the bathroom? Right? The place is cheap, everything feels cheap but it works nothing. What did this Mzee study at school? He knows something we do not?,. He is on the top of the game right now.
The job
Make a man happy. The girls, fully exposed, are instructed to make the man happy by whatever means necessary. So they will hang on his arms, give him lap dances and so on. Whatever the man wants, they will do. They are at his service. They are instructed to be nice to him.
