Ah, the infamous village questions! One thing I love about city life is the privacy. People are so wrapped up in their own lives, that they hardly have time to pry into yours, and honestly, it is refreshing. But the moment you head back home for the holidays, everything shifts. The peaceful autonomy of the city gives way to the whirlwind of questions from family and friends, all eager to know everything about your life.
It is like a well-meaning yet relentless firing squad of curiosity. But here is the thing; these questions, as annoying or intrusive as they might seem, are rooted in a deep sense of community, care, and okay, maybe a little nosiness for good measure.
Let us start with the classic; “When are you getting married?” If you are anything like me, this one can make you break into a nervous laugh, suddenly pretend to be distracted by a passing bird, or skillfully change the subject. Because honestly, sometimes “when” feels like the most loaded question in the room.
In Uganda, marriage is not just about the two of you; it is a family affair. It is about societal stability, continuity, and of course, the aunties who want to know if you have finally stopped ‘playing’ and are ready to settle down. They are not trying to embarrass you; it is just, well, you are under the microscope. So, how do you handle it? A solid response could be; “Well, when the right person comes along, I will let you know.” That should buy you a few weeks of peace.
Next up; “What do you do in Kampala?” Ah, Kampala; the glittering city where dreams are made… and sometimes, they go to die. When they ask this, it is often like they are trying to figure out if your hustle is hustling. If you are an engineer, doctor, or teacher, the answer’s easy. But if you work as a “freelancer,” “influencer,” or “content creator,” prepare for a raised eyebrow and maybe a silent prayer. “Please do not ask what an influencer does…” Here is where a little wit can help. “I do a lot of things, but mostly I help people make their lives easier. Right now, I am helping you by answering your question. You are welcome.”
In reality, the “What do you do?” question is not about the title so much as it is about making sure you are doing something meaningful with your time. Whether it is through a traditional job or running your own business from your bed (no judgment), the idea is to show that you are contributing to society in your way; even if your contribution includes endless Netflix episodes and scrolling through Instagram.
And let us talk about personal appearance. If you have gained a few kilogrammes since your last visit or dared to change your hairstyle, prepare for a full-on commentary. “Ah, you have gained weight! Are you pregnant?” This one can be especially awkward because it is not just a question.
It is an announcement of their observations about your body, and they do not care if it is rude. But here is your chance to take control. Respond confidently; “Nope, just collecting a few extra kilos for the rainy days. It is a personal project I am working on. No worries, I am not pregnant, just well-nourished!”
At the heart of all these questions is something really beautiful, the connection and care that come from family and community. Even when it feels like they are prying or being overly blunt, the underlying message is that they want to see you thrive. Of course, it is also a little about them staying in the loop with everyone’s life decisions. The village has a way of keeping tabs, and trust me, there’s no escaping that.
So, as you sip your warm cup of tea or try to dodge Auntie’s 15th marriage proposal suggestion, remember; that these questions are more than just inconvenient chatter. They are an invitation to reflect, to laugh at how others see you, and sometimes, to answer in the most creative, humorous way possible. Why not? After all, it is just another chapter in the ongoing saga of family gatherings, where the true question is; “Will they ever stop asking the same things?” And the answer, my friend, is no. They will not.
