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‘Love is not a constant'
Tumusabe and Nassolo’s journey began at university when they met at a club. PHOTO/ EDGAR R BATTE
What you need to know:
Be intentional. Love in marriage is a dynamic journey that requires effort, understanding and commitment. Robert and Milly Kikomeko, a couple with a shared vision for their relationship and faith, reveal how travel, patience, and open communication have helped them build a strong, lasting bond despite challenges.
Couples benefit greatly from travelling together, whether to explore new places or revisit their favourite spots. Robert Tumusabe Kikomeko, a businessman and Milly Nassolo Kikomeko, a lawyer, believe taking time away from daily routines helps them reconnect and strengthen their relationships. The couple owns and runs Maisha Tours and Travel and are pastors.
“Love is dynamic, and there are times we feel distant due to busy schedules. But when we travel, it gives us a chance to reflect on our relationship and grow closer. It is also fun and offers me exposure to new ideas and opportunities for my business,” Tumusabe shares.
Meeting
Tumusabe and Nassolo’s journey began at university when they met at a club. Nassolo had gone to attend a friend's birthday party while Tumusabe was there with a friend.
He did not know whose birthday it was, but while dancing, he noticed Nassolo, who stood out with her innocent yet provocative style. He asked her to dance, but she declined. Tumusabe then insisted on buying her a drink, and although she initially refused, she eventually accepted a soda.
Milly recalls, “I was new to the club scene and sceptical of everyone. I declined many dance requests, including his.” Despite this, Tumusabe persisted and, after a month, showed up at Nassolo's hostel. Surprised to see him there, she agreed to chat. Tumusabe’s respect and patience caught her attention. “I liked the challenge,” Tumusabe explains. “I noticed how others approached her and were turned down. That made me believe she was someone worth getting to know.”
Their bond grew through regular conversations, and Tumusabe’s acts of kindness, such as walking Nassolo to the stage and sharing money, revealed his caring nature. With time, Nassolo noticed that he wanted more than just a casual relationship.
Faith differences
Despite their growing connection, they faced a major challenge; faith differences. Nassolo, a Muslim, and Tumusabe, a Christian, struggled with their beliefs. They broke up for six months, but Tumusabe, unable to move on, asked for another chance, this time proposing marriage. Tumusabe also promised to support Nassolo’s mother financially.
When Nassolo returned for her final exams, they had completed the formalities of their relationship, including setting a date for their introduction. After she graduated, they had their official introduction ceremony and married a week later. After their honeymoon, they moved into their first home, a small, single-room apartment furnished only with a mattress and their wedding gifts.
“We started with little, but we had each other and our faith,” Nassolo recalls. Tumusabe had always said their marriage should glorify God. “That is our goal. We constantly evaluate ourselves because as we change, so does the world around us. Working together helps us stay together. Our commitment to glorifying God keeps us focused and pure.”
Patience
The Kikomekos stress the importance of patience in their marriage. Tumusabe explains, “Patience has helped us discover the best parts of each other. I come from a rural area in Kagadi Town in western Uganda, where life was tough, while she is from a more structured background. We have both had to sacrifice and learn each other’s cultures.”
He also acknowledges the cultural differences, such as Nassolo’s background, where people do not greet others while eating. “It is about understanding and respecting each other,” he adds.
The value of communication
Communication plays a vital role in their relationship. Tumusabe says it is not just about communicating his point but also listening.
“Communication is not complete without feedback. It is essential for decision-making and planning for the future,” he adds.
Nassolo agrees, adding, “Knowing my husband listens to me makes me feel safe. It creates space for me to share my thoughts and know my views are valued.”
Financial transparency has also been key. Tumusabe believes that being open about money strengthens their relationship. “If my wife does not know how much I earn, she could have unrealistic expectations. Transparency Nassolo says, “Money is not personal in our family; it is ours together. Being aware of our budget helps me avoid overspending.”
Faith is key
Nassolo says while women can be career-driven, submission in marriage is still essential. “Before marriage, choose someone you can respect and submit to. Many women choose partners for superficial reasons such as money or looks, and this causes problems later.” Tumusabe emphasises the sacred foundation of marriage: “Marriage was instituted by God. It is not just about physical affection but responsibility. Men must love their wives as Christ loved the church; patient, enduring, and sacrificial. As men, we are the providers and guides. If we neglect this role, everything falls apart.”
