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‘Marriage is easy if you communicate’

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Robert Nsereko and Prim Margaret Nakiranda met in 2013 at Ndejje University in Kampala. The two were pursuing different courses but shared some course units and had coursework discussions together. Because of interacting often, they became friends, especially since Robert was in a relationship. However, his relationship soon ended and since he had already developed feelings for Prim, he set his eyes on her.

“She tried so hard to make sure I reunite with my ex-girlfriend but I told her it was over and was ready to move on with her. She is a very intelligent woman who would always be the best in our class,” Robert recalls.

He had always wanted to marry a woman who was God-fearing, intelligent, light-skinned and someone who loved his relatives and Prim had all these qualities. To her, Robert is a very straightforward person, committed and loving. She could not ask for anything more.

When they finally graduated from university, they rented a house but did not want to go any further with the relationship without getting married. So, in 2016, the two sought consent from their parents but although they wanted to have the wedding then, several factors forced them to just settle for a formal visit to her parents (Kukyaala).

“My father told Robert that the best gift he would give me was an address. He advised us to first settle down and build a home and then have a wedding,” she says.

Expanding their empire

With the advice from his father-in-law, Robert saw it as an opportunity to grow. He worked hard and within a year, they had built a home. The couple has also been blessed with two sons and has lived together for eight years. 

Through this time, the two have learnt that marriage is not a straight line but a service that needs commitment. They also observe that they are not perfect but they choose to focus and cherish the positive things in their lives and this is what keeps them going.

 “We are not perfect but we love each other even with our imperfections. It takes some time but we have learnt to understand each other’s weakest points and slowly and tenderly mould them. I have learnt to appreciate that my husband is special and I would live a life of regret if I left him,” Prim says,

Communication, according to Robert, is a very important aspect of marriage and this is one of the tools that they have used to keep the candle burning in their relationship for the past eight years.

Handling differences

There will always be differences, Prim says.

“If siblings who grew up together can fight, what about two adults from different backgrounds who suddenly start living together? We choose to talk about differences in a healthy way and like he mentioned earlier, communication is key.

However, there are times when I choose to ignore some issues for my peace. I hate holding grudges,” she adds.

Robert thinks he found the calmest woman in the world who ignores most of the fights, especially if they are baseless.

“I have two people in her; a friend and a wife. If I have any concerns, depending on what it is, I speak to her in the capacity of a wife and a friend. I am happy that she is very understanding and calm,” he remarks.

Money, relatives

Prieme keeps the family’s ATM cards and although they do not have a joint bank account, they merge resources into a pool.

“She knows all the money I have. We discuss and agree on what to spend on. We have the same password for all the mobile money accounts and anyone can withdraw money whenever there is a need,” Robert says.

Asked how they handle relatives, the Nserekos remark that it is important to have relatives but for the good of their marriage, they help them from wherever they are.

Legalising their marriage

Last year, when the Nserekos consulted their spiritual father about their desire to legalise their marriage, he gave them a date, April 24, 2024, to be their wedding date. This time was perfect timing even for Prim’s father.

The couple had some savings and by the start of the year, they drafted their budget and looked for service providers whom they thought would make their dream day a success. They later informed friends and workmates who contributed money that helped to pay off all the remaining balances.

“We deposited money for most of the service providers and then informed friends and relatives. We knew what we wanted and planned.  We knew what amount of money we needed and what it was going to do,” Robert says.

Prim’s happiest moment was when her father walked her down the aisle and describes her wedding day as the most perfect thing that had ever happened to her. Robert on the other hand was overjoyed when the pastor pronounced them as one.

“All the days of our lives we shall be one,” he adds.

Advice

Church is the most important part of a wedding and Prim says this should be the greatest focus for any couple planning to wed.

“Do not look at what other people have done. Do what is affordable and within your means. You should know what you want and go for it. When you do not know what you want, service providers and other people will sell you their ideas and the day will flop because you will live the dream of other people,” she says.

Depositing some money with service providers before informing other people about your wedding will save you from people telling you to change your mind about the things you want.

“You cannot make any decision if you do not have money. People will have to decide for you,” she concludes.