Although James and Adiah began living together and considered themselves married in 1985, they had never held a formal wedding until February. PHOTO/COURTESY
It all started on July 17, 1985. Adiah was visiting her aunt’s home when she first crossed paths with James, who was also connected to the family through her aunt’s husband. At the time, she was just 17 years old, but something about James left a lasting impression on her. James, then 20, remembers the encounter like it was yesterday. “It was a Wednesday,” he recalls. “She visited, and before she left, she promised to return the following Monday. And true to her word, she came back. During that visit, I opened up about my life; how I had lost both parents and was living alone. I told her I wanted to start a family with her. To my surprise and joy, she agreed.”
Early life together
James was still in school then, but also rearing animals to make ends meet. Together, they made a decision; Adiah would stay and help with the farm while he continued his studies. She never went back home, worried about how her aunt would react. Instead, she moved in with James, and later, a letter was sent to her parents informing them of her decision. Thankfully, her family accepted the news and gave their blessings. “Back then, I paid bride price; four cows and two goats,” James shares. “It was a big deal at the time, and I collected them myself. It was not easy, but I did it.” Despite being newly married, James went on to complete his Primary Seven exams that same year. However, he did not continue with formal schooling, choosing instead to focus on farming and supporting his young family. What attracted him most to Adiah, he says, was her hard work, a quality that would play a major role in their shared success. “I love my wife wholeheartedly. She respects me deeply, and in marriage, that is everything. As men, we need respect and support. I am grateful I found both in her.” Their first child was born in 1986, and alongside parenthood, their farming efforts flourished. Over time, they diversified into other businesses, always collaborating closely.
A private union
Although James and Adiah began living together and considered themselves married in 1985, they had never held a formal wedding, until now. In all those years, they had only one major disagreement that led to a fight. “That was the first and last time it happened,” James says. “We both realised fighting was not right. God desires love, unity, and peace in a marriage. From then on, we decided to resolve our issues calmly, especially because the community looked up to us.”
Adiah adds, “When I met James, he was a born-again Christian, and over time, we started a church together. Today, he is the bishop of our home church in Namisindwa District.” Because the church was based at their home, they always dealt with their issues privately. “I have never left my marriage since the day I entered it,” she says. “The only time I have left home is for burials.
No matter the challenge, I stayed.” For many years, the couple put off their wedding, prioritising the education of their children. But deep down, James always dreamed of making their union official. “Our marriage was built on the foundation of Christ,” he says. “Even when the devil tried to shake us, my wife had a terrible accident just days before our wedding, we stood firm. Her survival only deepened our faith.”
Adiah explains that what pushed them to finally wed after 39 years was James’ new role as the overseer of all churches in Namisindwa District. “Whenever he visited other churches, he would be made to sit at the back because he was not officially married. Yet, he was leading them. It was embarrassing and painful.”
This spurred James to call a family meeting with their children to ask for Adiah’s consent to finally wed, and she agreed. “We understood the importance of setting a good example as church leaders,” she says.
Wedding against all odds
Despite the accident that left Adiah with serious injuries to her head, legs, and back, the couple stuck to their plan. “I did not care how she would get to the altar,” James says. “We had already decided. Even though another man might have postponed, I could not. Nothing was going to stop us.” On February 8, James and Adiah were officially married in front of 1,000 guests. The ceremony, held at Bunamwandu New Apostolic Church and led by Apostle Adoori George William, was a beautiful celebration of enduring love. The reception took place in Nasilulu Village, and the event was organised on a budget of Shs30m.
Views on marriage then and now
James believes that marriage today is more complicated than it was in their time. “People are more educated and financially independent now, which is good,” he says. “But it also brings challenges. Some women no longer feel they need a man’s support. Changing roles in the home are creating new dynamics that not everyone agrees with.” Adiah agrees. “Today’s marriages face new pressures. For them to work, there needs to be constant communication, understanding, and compromise.”
Advice
To women, Adiah offers this advice: “Respect your husband and his family. That is the secret to lasting peace in a home. When you show respect, everything else falls into place, even support from his family.” She also urges women to be patient and prayerful. “Every woman dreams of walking down the aisle one day. But God’s timing is always perfect. Wait for Him.” James encourages young people to take time to understand their partner’s character before getting married. “Character is everything. It is what kept us together all these years. We respect and understand each other deeply.”
