
On July 24, Chris and Lynnet celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary, a beautiful testament to their unwavering commitment. PHOTO/EDGAR R BATTE
When Chris Nsubuga confessed to Lynnet Kyomugisha that he had fallen in love with her and wanted to start a relationship, Lynnet was upfront. She needed to know if he was serious.
Chris, who had met Lynnet at Makerere University’s St Francis Chapel through their involvement in singing groups, was ready to commit. Although he thought she was out of his league, Lynnet did not care about his educational background. What mattered more was that her partner shared her passion for music, especially since she was a worship leader, a key part of her faith.
Years before they even started talking, Chris had a conversation with God. He was not exactly praying, but he told God: “I have been a good man, stayed single, and now I am ready for a relationship. The woman I will have a conversation with for more than four hours will be the one.”
He began talking to different people, and when he had a four-hour conversation with a friend, he thought she might be the one. But, when he asked her out, things fell apart quickly. She ended things by saying she was done with God and with him.
Forgiveness
Chris was heartbroken, feeling rejected and bitter for more than a year. He was struggling, especially after learning that his ex had moved on with someone else. During this difficult time, Lynnet was the only person he confided in. However, she was strict and structured, so he kept his feelings to himself.
A few months later, Chris had the chance to work in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. While there, he felt God urging him to apologise to his ex-girlfriend, even though he did not want to. After asking a mutual friend for her contact, Chris tried to delete the email but ultimately sent it, feeling a sense of freedom and peace afterwards.
Then, as Chris grew lonely in Tanzania, he felt the urge to talk to the woman he would marry. His conversations with Lynnet and her friend Apophia grew more frequent. He would email them, and they would respond, always in the same email thread. Chris could tell who was saying what because he knew their writing styles.
One day, in December 2000, he sent an email to both of them, expecting a response in a couple of days. But a week went by, then two weeks, and still no reply. He was frustrated, but when the response finally came, after two months, he found out they had been on holiday in the village. It was then that he realised Lynnet was the one.
The list
In 1996, while attending Kampala Pentecostal Church (now Watoto Church), Pastor Chris Komagum encouraged the young people he was discipling to write down the qualities they desired in a future spouse. Chris came up with a list of 10 qualities. Among them, he wanted a partner who would challenge his views. He also hoped for someone whose strong relationship with God would inspire him to grow in faith and Lynnet ticked all the boxes.
“I embraced him because he was straightforward,” she recalls. “I prayed over it and made it clear to him that I was not interested in a relationship for the sake of trying things out. I needed him to define where he stood; either continue or walk away. I was all in.”
And so, they began dating, taking long walks around the university, enjoying meals at restaurants, and having deep conversations. Nsubuga even put together a questionnaire to better understand each other's preferences such as when they would get married, who would officiate the wedding, and how many children they would have.
Determined
At the time, Lynnet wanted to finish her studies, find a job, and gain some work experience before considering marriage. But in November 2001, Nsubuga started a three-week fast, seeking God’s guidance on whether he should marry Lynnet and when. During his fast, God spoke to him, asking if Lynnet made him happy.
“Yes,” Nsubuga replied. “Then marry her,” God said. When Nsubuga asked when, he saw the number 24/7, which he interpreted as July 24. So, he set their wedding date for July 24, 2004, three years and three months after they started dating.
They were determined to honour their Christian values by not kissing or becoming physically intimate before marriage. With the support of nine friends who prayed for them, they stayed true to their commitment and made it to the altar without compromising. They also spent their time doing practical things such as buying land a year before their wedding, meeting each other’s families, and getting to know each other’s parents.
Nsubuga was particularly intentional about bonding with Lynnet’s father. He spent three separate weekends at his home, and they grew close enough that when it was time for Nsubuga to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage, Lynnet’s father excused him from paying dowry.
20 years later
On July 24, they celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary, a beautiful testament to their unwavering commitment. Over the years, they have faced and overcome challenges, and their vows have remained the anchor of their relationship.
One of those challenges was financial. “We did not have much at first, but we kept going because we had made a vow, ‘for better or worse,’” Lynnet shares.
“When we first got married, I was earning about Shs500,000 a month, and he was in business but only landing a couple of deals a year, so things were tight. But then everything changed. He started making a lot more money, and I was able to become a stay-at-home mother, homeschooling our children,” she adds.
Through the ups and downs, their love and commitment have stood the test of time.
She adds that during times of scarcity , they have managed to survive by supporting each other, emphasising that it is unwise for couples to compare themselves with others since they cannot know what burdens or challenges the other couple may be facing.
“We have learnt to count our blessings. We thank God that we are not renting, even though our house is not yet complete. We harvest rainwater, so even if National Water goes off, we are not affected. We have solar power, so we never experience darkness,” she says, reflecting on the things they are grateful for, made possible through mutual planning.
Lessons
Lynnet, a pastor with Worship Harvest in Mukono District, alongside her husband, observes that both the ‘For better and worse’ seasons come, but they remain steadfast as a couple, confident that just like Job, who endured great loss yet was restored with double what he had before, God always sees them through. Prayer has been a strong pillar for the two. At eight, Nsubuga started praying about the marriage he would have. “I could tell that something was wrong with my parents’ marriage. Two and a half years later, my parents separated. So, I started praying for my marriage. I am glad to have been mentored by pastors such as Uncle Ben and Aunt Joy Mugarura, Pastor Chris and Heather Komagum, and now Apostle and Pastor Sarah Mukisa.” He reveals: “In our 20 years, we have learnt that God’s grace is key. Knowing that He loves us dearly, we transfer this grace to each other as partners,” Nsubuga, also a marriage counsellor who has authored The Marriage Game: The 14 Hidden Keys to Marital Joy, adds.