Be open to the chance of accidental love

Thursday January 28 2021
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By Bradford Kamuntu

Have you ever gone to the mall or any department store and ended up with items you did not intend to buy? Or moving about town minding your business and you bump into some friends and it turns out to be an incredibly unexpected fun night? Believe it or not, it happens with love and relationships as well. Everything is normal and platonic and then boom! you are in love with someone.

Sometimes we find love in the strangest places, often within friendships, at work or in environments where that was never the intention. It is spontaneous and catches you off guard, which can be such a great thing if you live an adrenalin-filled life where spontaneity thrives. But if you do not, you could potentially get carried away and lose yourself.

The inspiration for this as a topic came hot off the heels of  binge watching Bridgerton on Netflix. I know many of you are watching/have watched and are familiar with the characters. For those of you that have not, now would be the best time to indulge. Without divulging too much and giving the show away for those who have not yet watched, two of the characters one troubled by elders about when they plan to marry and the other seeking the attention of the “right” suitors make a pact to pretend to be betrothed and madly in love with each other, a simple understanding where they each acquire what they desire. As luck would have it, in all this pretending, love blossoms, unexpected and unwarranted.

Things tend to happen that way you know (well, maybe not exactly that way), you meet someone think they are incredibly cool and think nothing of them in a romantic way. All you hope for is getting to know them better and achieving a phenomenal friendship. But when you least expect it, those emotions and feelings rush in and grip you, it could be while discussing many matters of shared interest and you realise this is the person meant for you, or maybe a soppy love song is playing and you receive a text from them and you get all giddy and tingly inside and think “wait a minute? This is new”.

We tend to categorise people, fit them into zones we do not want them to crawl out of and often limit ourselves from making connections beyond the scope of what we desire. In this day and age, it is applauded as setting boundaries, which I wholeheartedly agree with and believe in but I am always left wondering, is there not potential love that you could be blocking out when you categorise every single person in your life?

I do not say all this to mean that all love is planned and predictable, but in most cases, when you interact with someone, you can feel yourself slowly and surely falling in love with them. The game is in a whole different ball park when you shared no interest or desire but fall madly in love with someone.

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We often never know how to respond to accidental love. Some people embrace it and see where it could lead while others dependent on who it is could shy away, retreat, want nothing to do with the other person until their feelings are submerged and disappear.

It is a new year and love could very well be anywhere, even in the most unexpected of places. Keep your ears open and your eyes peeled.

Meeting. According to Match.com’s findings, women are more likely to meet that special someone earlier in life at age 25, whereas men meet their match closer to 28. However, 50 per cent of those the website surveyed all meet their partner at some point during their 20s.

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