Can’t a relationship end without calling each other names?

Relationships end everyday but one thing seems to be a norm; the fights and name calling that follows the breakup. Two weeks ago, my neighbour’s ex knocked down the gate and smashed her ex’s windshield and whoever tried to stop her earned a slap or a bruise from her pointed silver stiletto. If I did not know better, I would have mistaken her for a mentally challenged person.

Phiona was a calm woman who always smiled at neighbours. She did David’s laundry at least every weekend and cleaned the house. I had not seen her in the past two months and I did not ask much because David had since brought home another woman.

After a scuffle between her and David, other neighbours intervened. She was wailing, fell on the ground and wept for several minutes. I carefully walked to her and asked her to come to my house for a minute, at least until she cools down. “I never imagined that I would fall in love with a monster, David can devour your heart out like a vampire…” She went on whining and calling him all kinds of names. “You witch, come out here.” David shouted as he headed for my porch. He also went on to label her unspeakable names. By this time, Phiona had lost all energy to fight and just stared in space. “You are a murderer and you will rot in hell.” This seemed to have pierced Phiona right through the heart. It is then that I knew that this was not just a break-up but a grieving story.

Phionah had had a miscarriage that almost claimed her life. She was involved in an accident at work, hit her head so hard that she spent almost five weeks in hospital. Once she recovered, she mourned her child and expected to find comfort in David who had dumped her in hospital, blamed her for aborting and hooked up with another woman.

Phiona was caught off-guard and she never thought that ‘her’ David had another woman on standby. Phionah thought that giving David a piece of her mind would bring her some peace but it did not. It never does anyway but I wonder why when love ends, we never just walk away with dignity.

Once love has died, pleading, abuses and name-calling might seem like a good way to steam out our disappointment but in the process, we hurt each other and ourselves more. Silence is a treasure only discovered by a few lucky ones. Next time you have nothing nice to say to the person you once loved, just walk away and never look back. Trust me, you gain nothing from fighting after all.