Dating can be very exhausting

Thursday September 09 2021
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By Bradford Kamuntu

As a society, we do not discuss enough how exhausting dating actually is. So much so that by the time you actually find someone you want to settle with, you are drained.

Getting ready, finding time in your schedule, the cost of going out to a restaurant (or whatever other elaborate first date plan you may come up with) rather than ordering the cheeky takeout you really want -whichever way you look at it, dating is pretty draining.

Dating is not the flowers and leisurely cinema trips that rom-coms have sold us on our entire lives, the modern dating landscape is a cutthroat world where you are lucky to come away with your dignity and self-esteem intact. It’s a full-time job and enough to take the enthusiasm out of anyone, especially if you’ve been single a year or more.

Before online dating took off, you could file a date away in your diary and not have to think about it until the night before (or at least those older than me have intimated).

Thanks to the aggressive social media system, we are forced to spend every waking moment thinking about dating.

Whether it is swiping right, trying to appear irresistible (but not overly keen) by message or eventually pinning someone down to an in-person meet up, the constant nature of looking for love is off putting to any sensible adult that lacks time and has other pressing responsibilities.

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An evening date does not just mean getting to bed later than you would like, it pretty much writes off the entire day.

Dependent on what person you are and how you like to present yourself, choosing an outfit and biting your nails for an hour or so, your mind is put off the whole idea it is hard to be fully present and want to pursue a second date.

Going on dates means you have to be a social butterfly, but for someone who might not enjoy the social setting and for those that generally despise people, being around them and speaking; then going on dates presents a problem of its own.

Even for people that enjoy socialising, constantly having to put yourself out there is quite the task. For so many people to have access to you, your time, your contact, and your social media (because that matters if you are a private individual) is discouraging in the quest to find love.

Let us not forget the fact while dating you are voluntarily putting yourself up for the probability of getting rejected countless times. Dating is like choosing to face that rejection in miniature from pretty much once a day. It is made many people so hyper-afraid of being rejected that they never fully let go in relationships.

So, while dating is fun and relationships could be an interesting path to follow, we need to also show the flip side; the one where it is mentally and physically exhausting for one to find love in this fast-paced millennial world of dating.

Choices

What do you choose...

Let us not forget the fact while dating you are voluntarily putting yourself up for the probability of getting rejected countless times. Dating is like choosing to face that rejection in miniature from pretty much once a day. It has made many people so hyper-afraid of being rejected that they never fully let go in relationships.

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