Dating rules we should abandon

Thursday February 25 2021
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By Bradford Kamuntu

Throughout the course of our lives, we are given impractical, unattainable and wrong dating advice mostly from older individuals who themselves failed to fix or leave their dysfunctional relationships. A lot of it does not work and we often end up depriving ourselves of experiencing the relationships we deserve and follow bad advice on the path to living with relationships we think are acceptable.

We live in a society that is still deeply “traditional” and often stop ourselves from indulging in what would truly fulfill us in a relationship because we do not want to be singled out and chastised for how we choose to enjoy our relationships.

As human beings, it is only natural for us to want to explore who we are as sexual beings and if done safely and privately, should really not be an issue. However, we have been conditioned to think that sex is only reserved for the halls of holy matrimony and people who partake are (unfortunately till this day) heckled with an array of offensive names to inflict guilt.

Yes, having sex early in a relationship may have a negative spin on the course it takes, especially if the sex is what you rely on most but there is nothing contradictory about wanting to know if there is sexual chemistry between you and someone else, if you are compatible in that department.

Anyone, that feels like splurging on their partner or paying for a date should do so. Yes, gentlemen in the embrace of toxic masculinity I am talking to you. Women can also buy you drinks, dinner and gifts without bruising your ego and it should not make you feel less of a man.

Nor should you take offence to a woman making her own and capable of going Dutch (splitting the bill). We have come so far and I feel that if a woman can take care of herself and you if she so wishes it should not be the root cause of any contention. The more the merrier when it comes to finances.

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That women must domesticate themselves in a relationship to prove themselves to be formidable suitors, anyone that still agrees with this and practices it then shame on you. It is 2021, we are in the middle of a pandemic and women are out here doing great things.

They do not need to add cooking and cleaning for adult males to their to do list. Put in joint effort or work hard enough to afford help. One must not prove their skills with a broom or in the kitchen in order for them to be worthy of your love and respect.

It is not entirely necessary or important that you must be close friends with your partner’s friends. You do not owe them your time, nor do you owe them positions on the list of your closest friends.

Getting along with your significant other’s friends is golden and can be quite blissful but it also does not have to consume your time and your friendship circles do not have to blend for the two of you to have a successful relationship.

This list could be longer and possibly never end. The moral of the story is to do whatever feels right in your relationship. Test things out and let what fits remain and let go of what does not. But let those decisions be yours to make.


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