Do not over expose yourself

Thursday May 13 2021
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By Bradford Kamuntu

For many, our phones are what we pick up first in the morning and what we put down last before we go to bed at night. In those instances and all the ones in between, we are sharing almost every aspect of our lives on social media so it only comes naturally that we want to share our relationships with those that take the time out of their day to keep up with our lives.

Social media has become the go to medium for us to keep our loved ones (and some other spectators) in the know and lately, that means involving our relationships as well. We often think posting a light hearted video or a sweet picture is harmless but unknowingly we are opening up our relationships to scrutiny and analysis from anyone that has access to us and an opinion.

I have witnessed many “social media couples” break up and felt they owed their following an explanation, which is sad and incredibly intrusive. But then you are reminded of the fact that they opened up their relationship to the world, shared stories, and experiences and let their audiences in. The people that follow them are heavily invested in the ins and outs of their relationship that they feel owed an explanation as to why their partner’s picture has all of a sudden vanished from the timeline.

While it is no crime to share a portion of our lives that makes us more relatable and that is important to us sometimes, we have to hold back on posting that picture or video and ask ourselves what we are opening our relationships up to.

You see often, not everyone that follows you wishes you well, not every person in your following is happy about the highs in your life they would rather see only the lows documented and have opportunity to ridicule you, sad and pathetic I know but unfortunately that is the reality we have to deal with in this generation.

Romantic bonds can now begin and blossom through social media, but they can also be heavily damaged by it. Jealousy has more room when we monitor and pay attention to our partner’s online behaviour a little more than we should. We tend to get jealous of pictures they are liking, comments they are leaving and in most conversations, you will hear people say they want a partner that is not on social media at all, and yet here we are.

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Let us also not forget, the way we interact online can also have a negative effect on how we interact with our partners in real life. We start to have warped expectations of how our relationships should run because of the realities we have created online and want to actualise, which is a very slippery slope on how we run relationships.

Far be it from me to tell you to censor your online presence or leave out some aspects of your life, because beautiful things are meant to be shared right? But in the world we live, we are taught to be more cautious and a little more guarded than we usually are. Have bits of your relationship, but do not over expose yourself.

Downside. Some research has linked social media use with increased jealousy and relationship dissatisfaction in college students. If you are prone to jealousy because of an insecure attachment style, research says you may be more likely to get stuck in a cycle of endless scrolling to keep an eye on your partner’s activities.

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