Does playing nice with his friends ever work?

Thursday April 01 2021
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Christine Nakalungi

By Christine Nakalungi

On a journey to date someone, we often find ourselves ‘dating’ the man, his family and his friends. Because birds of a feather flock together, just like you can know alot about your girlfriend from her friends, she too can learn alot about you from your friends. Men might not discuss their affairs like women usually do but yes, having his friends on your side might be a bonus.

Felicia learned from her three brothers that women should never ignore the ‘bro code’. Men friends can be sneaky, fake and extremely more influential than we usually credit them.

So, when she started dating Phillip six months ago, she decided to play the ‘be nice’ game with his friends. Felicia undoubtedly loves Phillip. Phillip too adores her but he is not ready to settle down yet Felicia is. “You are the woman I want to marry, just not yet,”. To her this seems like an excuse. I do not blame her after the two failed relationships that drained her emotionally. As her friends, we were glad when she started dating again.

We have helped her surprise him on his birthday, spoken nice about her and at a certain point we threatened that if he ever breaks her heart, we will bite off his nose. We made him feel like he got a jewel in Felicia but still the man does not seem to change his opinion about marrying her yet.

The last time we talked, we had to come up with a plot to penetrate his circle and that is his ‘bro code’ group. Phillip has four male friends; they have been friends for years and they hang out at least once every week to either watch a game or just play video games. Felicia was introduced to the group, but she never really acquainted herself with them. So, the plan is to befriend his friends so that the pressure comes from his friends too.

Last week, she offered to visit Phillip and invite the boys over for dinner. She outdid herself and served a delicious meal. When they were done, they were just singing praises. She cleaned after them and offered snacks, wine as they watched the game. When they finally left at midnight, she was exhausted. Soaking herself in a bathtub, Phillip came and kissed her on a forehead. “The boys said you are a great cook. I am lucky to have you, thanks honey.”

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This was her first score. She had always cooked for him but Phillip hearing his friends commending her made him feel like he had picked right. She believes that the boys are now on her side to keep him in a straight line. Could she be counting the chicken way before they hatch?

Like women, men too gossip about their dates. They will tell their friends details that are alarming and yet the boys will act like they have no idea when they meet the girl. Men friends can praise a mistress and even call her “Mrs” well knowing that he is already married to someone else. The same people who play nice to the mistress can spend a day at his wife’s home and act like they are loyal. Men’s loyalty lies with each other and so many times when they meet, women become a topic.

Do you think that friends have the power to influence a relationship?

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