Does size really matter in a relationship?

Thursday September 02 2021
By Guest Writer

For the last month or so, the quality of love a man and woman can share has been reduced to the size of a genital.

One man’s genital like this.

And for some randomly ridiculous reason, this was of national importance. A certain businessman, the proud owner of a body part that became of interest to a certain part of the public trended in social media conversations longer than certain politician’s speeches ever will.  I didn’t follow the story myself because, well, internet is expensive, but you know how small social media makes the world. People’s conversations will bombard all your timelines and radars. 

Of course this is not the first little body part story to come our way. We get those every other month or so. And only because there are those among us who get a thrill out of sharing intimate photos of ourselves or past lovers.

 So, do tell, oh ye love gurus, does size really matter?

No, no. Don’t answer. It’s a hypothetical question. Plus I am here just to give my view not listen to yours. You go write yours on your social media page if you want.


The obsession with parts

Speaking of body parts, what is this obsession with the derrière?  I know, everyone likes their cup of tea a certain type of way but eish! When that cup of tea becomes a communal obsession, it becomes worrying and then after, that disturbing.

If you think I am just a jealous person with no derriere to take to the bank, turn on your telly during a music show and mute the volume. I kid you not, every music video will have a video vixen shaking their backside in your face or gyrating like they need to pee yesterday.  Or go to the gram and check out the poses, 99.9 per cent are backside shows.

Look, there’s actually nothing wrong with showing off your favourite things but me as me, I do not get it. I think it’s too much.  I look forward to the day, the gram will be flooded with people taking shots of their feet, big toes, earlobes, canine teeth, anything but...

As I conclude this random rant about the role of derriere and genital size in love and relationships, let me ask;

Will you be thinking about genitals when life serves you things such as terminal illnesses or accidents that take away a limb, or just leave you bedridden for months on end? Will the size of the genital be what makes for good conversation at the end of a long day of being spat on by your boss who serves generous mini-litres of saliva every time he talks?

Or does it help you find ways to get out of bankruptcy or some loan shark who wants to cheat you out of your ka-land in Najeera because that’s what you hurriedly signed up as collateral? 

Will it support you when suicidal thoughts start to put themselves in your mind or when you lose a job and need support but no judgement? 

Dear person, unless your long-term goal in life and love is to have world class porn hub entanglements, the size of a body part should not be that important.

By Sanyu