Don’t blame yourself for being in love with the wrong person

Thursday January 07 2021
By Christine Nakalungi

How would you have known? People with wrong or right intentions come with a pleasant face and a sneaky smile. They say those sweet words we all want to hear. Knowing the right from the wrong one is hard unless you are a prophet, palm reader or psychic.

It is often uncanny how those around you can usually tell that the person you are dating has ulterior motives but not you. Friends sometimes risk by telling you and yet others leave you to find out on your own.

Samantha swore that if her boyfriend turned out like the ones she had dated before, she would give up on dating. “I am tired of loving the wrong ones,” she said. “It seems like I always attract men who are so cunningly convincing and yet all they speak are lies,” she lamented.

David had seemed different. She had built concrete walls around her heart over the time, but David was patient enough to remove them one by one. He stayed even when she was not the best person to stay with. David seemed different. He did not judge her and seemed to genuinely care about her feelings. After he removed the walls of her heart, she dived into the relationship like she always does but once she did, David started to withdraw.

She was confused as to why he changed suddenly; so, she asked him. “Why do you suddenly seem so serious? All I wanted was a simple relationship and nothing more. I am already married but my wife sometimes makes my life so unbearable so I find solace in you but you seem like you are turning into her,” he explained.

“Married? And you think that was not important to tell me before?” she asked in shock.


“You are a smart woman, I figured you would figure it out,” he answered.

Samantha said she wanted to scream and tear his face apart but instead became mute, her knees weak. She still does not remember how she managed to get up and walk away from him.

Many of us can testify that much as there are many fish in the sea, there are also many weeds in the garden. If you have never been dragged down the lane of ‘love gone wrong’, thank the heavens. Many of us have at some point sworn not to love again but the waves of love are stronger that they keep whirling us back.

If you have been played before, it is not okay, but it is not strange. It has happened to the best of us but like life, when we fall, we must get back up again. One day, the right person will come your way and they will make you forget that someone almost made you give up on love.

Do not blame yourself for always loving the wrong ones because we are not scanners of the heart and intentions. Life is a mystery and it treats us all the same way. But if you do not waver, one day you will love again. Until then, blame the wrong person for lying to you and do not blame yourself for believing in love.