Don’t hate your ex but don’t add them to your friends list

Your ex will be a good friend as long as you are not in a relationship. PHOTO | SHUTTERSTOCK

What part of ex don’t some people understand? It is bothering to move on only to be constantly dragged back by the ex who is neither in nor out of the relationship. Some people choose to stay friends with their former partners but what happens if your partner chooses to resurrect the feelings and claim the territories back? 
It is so easy to offer friendship after a break-up, especially if you are the one who initiated the break-up. However, it might be hard for the other party since they nurse the wounds and possibly cry for weeks or months in order to get over the breakup. Moving on is not easy but it gets even harder if the shadows of your ex are still following you all in the name of, “let us stay friends.”
“Well if you wanted friendship from me, you would have told me in the beginning” Esther told John. “I know my friends and they do not cross some lines that I let you cross. So, once you called it quits, I stopped being the person you knew before,” she said. “You are so immature,”  she said. John fired back but he did not know the weight of those words. Esther tried to ignore him but when he kept going, Esther reluctantly said, “I will be your friend. As a matter of fact, I will be your best friend.” John thought he had won the battle but he had unleashed a sleeping lion.
The following weeks, Esther used this tactic to try and win him back but when it did not work, she then devoted to torturing him until he begged her to stop being his friend. She asked for sleepovers, woke him up faking sickness so that he could take her to the hospital. John’s new girlfriend tried to play the jealousy card, but she assured her that she was just being a ‘friend’ which she had believed in the first place but later on realised that she was being played.
Esther turned all the pain she was going through into anger. But after one week, she was drained. She felt stupid for having taken the route of revenge and she swore to pick herself up before she turned into the witch friend that she was playing.
Life is what you make it. You might choose to stay in your ex’s shadow, or you can go out there and enjoy a new breeze. Once someone gets out of the friend zone, it is hard to return there. The world is full of so many potential friends. Why would you prefer having your ex as one of your friends? They might not entirely become your enemies, but they should not be among the close circle of friends. 
An ex will be a good friend as long as you are not in a promising relationship. The moment someone with potential shows up, the inner jealousy rises and do not be surprised if they now want to get back to the dating zone. It is not compulsory to be friends with your ex and it is unfair for your ex to blackmail you into being their friend.