Fighting over your ex will only keep you in the past

Thursday October 08 2020

Christine Kalungi aadvises that one ought not to spend much time chasing after an ex, and the past as well. PHOTO/COURTESY

By Christine Nakalungi

It is concerning that someone would decide to fight another woman over a man. It is even more frustrating if you are fighting this woman and yet the man already broke up with you. 

There is a point in each person’s love story where they believe that this one will last; the kind where you actually believe that only death will separate you. And I understand that it is frustrating if another person shows up and she too ‘steals’ your person’s heart. This has driven many to the dark places, broken their hearts, souls and trust.

Many never recover while others put up a fight before accepting defeat. But in the end, there is only one way, which is to get over him and move on. This might be easier said than done but nothing in life comes that easily. For many things, you might have to use all the willpower God gave you but if you purpose within you to succeed, then you will.

So, someone explain to me why two people who once loved one person, are now both in the ‘ex’ category keep fighting over someone who moved on already? Maybe the hatred was created when they both were still dating the man but come on, he has already moved on. If you keep fighting over someone in your past, how on earth are you ever going to move on? 

At some point, you must realise that the only things worth fighting for are those you cannot live without. If someone broke up with you but you are still breathing, you still have a chance for a better life. So, stop living in the past, dust yourself off and start living your life knowing that the future holds better things for you.

Recently, I read in the news about two gentlemen who killed each other over a woman. And then you wonder, who won in the end? It is important to choose your battles wisely before you end up digging your own grave. Life has a lot to offer if you just take your eyes off the past because as long as the sun is still shining, you still have a chance to love and be happy. Do not give up yet. 


Unless you are officially married, it is unfair to claim that somebody belongs to you. Adults make personal decisions on who to date at a particular period, so if he is dating two people at the same time, then both of you are victims. 

Why wouldn’t you just call it quits or gang up and fight the perpetrator? He is answerable since he is the trouble causer. And then do you think that after pulling the other woman’s hair that will take away his love for her? I mean, isn’t this like fighting your own shadow? In the end, you will always lose.