How I knew they were definitely not the one

We all have unique experiences when it comes to recognising that someone is not right for us. Sometimes, it is something as simple as a character flaw that we just cannot ignore, or an action that betrays our trust. Other times, it is the way a person treats us or the lifestyle they lead, that makes us question if they are truly the partner we deserve.

We have gathered stories from a range of people who have experienced that moment of truth; those "Aha" moments when they knew their partner was not the one. 

These are real-life lessons, and sometimes, the best way to move forward is to understand why things did not work out. Each one of us has our reasons, and these reasons might just resonate with you. 

So, let us hear what these individuals have to say about the moment they knew they had to walk away.

Isaac Kigozi

I met her after university in a bar I used to frequent. She seemed perfect, humble, respectful, hardworking and God-fearing. I thought I had hit the jackpot, finding a woman like her. 

We shared our secrets, laughed, and built what I thought was a solid connection. But after a year, I discovered she had a child and was secretly still seeing the baby’s father. 

Not just for financial help, but they were romantically involved. I felt completely betrayed. I could not trust her anymore, and that realisation hit hard. It took me a long time to even think about dating again after that.

Victoria Nalubwama

I went on a date with this man once, thinking it would be a fun night. I had prepared myself, dressed up, and was ready to enjoy his company. But as soon as we sat down, he started talking about himself; non-stop. 

He went on and on about how successful he was, how many women wanted him, and how he had everything anyone could ever want. 

He did not ask a single thing about me. It was as if I was not even there. I could not take it. After about an hour of him bragging, I faked a call about a family emergency and left. I did not need to sit there with someone who could not even be bothered to show any interest in me. A selfish man is a deal-breaker for me.

Carol Akello

Everyone around me praised this man as the perfect catch; well-educated, successful and dignified. So, I decided to give him a chance. Our first date was supposed to be exciting, but it turned out to be a disaster. As soon as he walked in, I noticed an unpleasant smell. His shoes were so foul that my family immediately noticed and insisted that I send him away. The odour was unbearable. 

I could not believe that a man who was supposed to be well put together could overlook something so basic. I did not even get to the actual date, and it was clear to me that I could not date someone who did not take care of himself. It is not just about looks; it is about respecting yourself and others.

Clement Miwanda

I met a woman and we clicked. She seemed interested in building something serious, and I was fully on board. 

However, after a while, I started to realise she was not as invested in the relationship as I was. She always made excuses when it came to getting intimate, saying we should wait until marriage. 

Yet, each time she would ask me for money for her nails, transport, or clothes; she constantly needed something from me. I felt taken advantage of . After a year of this one-sided relationship, I realised I was not getting anything out of it, so I had to walk away.

George Serunjoji

Rachel and I had been together for three years. At first, everything felt perfect, but things began to change. She became overly protective, and initially, I thought it was endearing. 

She would call me several times a day to ask where I was and who I was with. However, it soon escalated. She started showing up unannounced at my work or social events just to "check in." 

It felt as if I could not breathe without her hovering over me. The constant questioning and lack of trust made me feel trapped. 

I realised I needed someone who respected my independence, and I could not marry someone who did not trust me. Although it was not easy, I had to break up with her.

Matilda Nyonyozi

At first, he seemed as the perfect man; charming, handsome, and generous. He always had a pleasant scent and treated me as a queen. 

However, after five months, I discovered that he was not who he pretended to be. 

One night, I found out he was seeing three other women. I had not intended to snoop, but when he left his phone unlocked, I could not ignore the messages and pictures that revealed the truth. 

I felt completely blindsided; he had been lying to me all along. From that moment on, I knew I could never trust him again. I promised myself that I would never let a man deceive me like that again.

Lawrence Nyombi

Initially, my relationship with Sarah was filled with passion, and I thought we were on the same page. However, I soon realised that her constant desire for sex was draining me. 

It did not feel like love or connection; instead, it felt like her insatiable need took precedence over my feelings, no matter how tired or stressed I was. She pressured me for sex multiple times a day, which made me feel more like an object than a partner. 

I found myself losing my sense of self in the process. The intimacy we once shared was no longer mutual; it became something she expected from me. I could not stay in a relationship where my emotional and physical boundaries were not being respected.

Hawa Mbabazi

Phillip was everything I thought I wanted in a partner; handsome, hardworking, and charming. He seemed perfect, but there was one problem; his mother. 

He was so attached to her that he could not make a single decision without consulting her. He would call her multiple times a day, and every weekend was spent at her place. 

At first, I thought it was just a close relationship, but after two years, I realised it was more than that; it was an obsession. I could not compete with the bond they shared. I tried to change him, hoping he would see that we could have our own life together, but in the end, I knew it would never happen. 

He was always going to choose his mother over me, and I could not be in a relationship where I was constantly in second place.

TAKEAWAY

According to www. tonyrobbins.com, refusing to let go will not bring someone you care about back. Continuing to hold on only hurts your emotional and physical state, keeping you from fully enjoying life. Embrace living in the moment and understand that uncertainty can be beautiful if you look at it from the right perspective. The key to letting go is facing what has happened, accepting that you cannot change it and moving on. Once you are able to move on and appreciate the growth that came from the relationship, better opportunities will present themselves. You will have successfully learnt how to let go of someone you love and can begin writing your new story