What you need to know:
A lot of us just sail through relationships and add to our body count without understanding why we keep failing
I personally hold the belief that if we cannot find at the very least 50 per cent common ground, then it is only a matter of time before it crumbles before us.
In the grand scheme of things, shared interests determine compatibility. Of course as human beings, we are built differently and are never going to enjoy 100 per cent of the same things. But if there is a huge difference in the things that bring us joy and captivate us, then what are we doing? I mean we get into a partnership with someone to share and build a life together right?
Then what is the purpose if we do not have anything in common. What do we do when the physical intimacy is gone? What is there to talk about and what activity is there to fill our quality time with? In a nutshell what is the point?
I recently watched the 2018 film ‘Game Night’ starring Rachel McAdams and Jason Bateman. While shared interests is not the main theme of the film, it is a big part of it. The two shared competitiveness at games, attending game nights and the interests brought them together and further connected them with other couples that liked to do the same. I found that so interesting and was probably the best take away from the comedy for me.
A lot of us just sail through relationships and add to our body count without understanding why we keep failing. Sometimes we think that because we find someone attractive and they have expressed interest in us that it is only right we date them. This is nothing but a settle culture that often leaves us in regrettable circumstances.
I always joke with my friends that I cannot be with someone I personally find unattractive. While on the surface it looks shallow, my considerations of what I find attractive are anything but. So, beyond their looks, I consider your intellect, how well read you are, what you took away from your education and subsequently what you have learned from life and how that shapes your beliefs and conversations.
Beyond that, I start to look into your personality. What movies, television shows and documentaries do you like? Are you the sort of person I am going to enjoy going to the movies with or am I going to be stressed by the fact that you did not enjoy what I picked out for us to watch and I had to explain every cultural reference in the film?
I have great interest in travel, I may not do it as often as I would like (because, life) but it is a part of me passed on from my mother and grandmother before her. I am always researching locations, their history what I can learn from them and making plans to go. This is something (while I do not require) would love to experience with the person I am dating. So, if you are a person who thinks it is a waste of money or it is impossible to do because you do not want to save and prioritise it, then we already have a huge disconnect.
I share with you my personal examples just to show you how easy it would be to lose interest in each other when you do not share any similar interest. Then why stay? Why convince yourself that love is meant to be that way? When I date someone I expect the full experience. We are going to enjoy each other in every aspect, especially our company. I may not like some of the things and experiences you enjoy and the same vice versa but there must be a place we meet in the middle where at the very least we find 50 per cent common ground and our time around each other is joyful and light.
Tolerate what you do not like in good humour, but have a place you come back to where you do things that you both enjoy. You could be from completely different regions and backgrounds but your shared interests are what will bond you, do not neglect that in your pursuit of a relationship.