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How to pick the perfect partner

What you need to know:

If you are intentional with your selection and take your time choosing a partner for all the right reasons you are less likely to end up making the same choices you made previously

Many people make dating and finding love look so easy. They never stay single long and move on to the next person in a heartbeat. I am always in awe of people that do not take a breather after a relationship, to recuperate and look through all the reasons the last relationship ended.

I am also of the opinion that people that move on quickly often end up with a person not far removed from the one they were dating before. Finding themselves in the same scenarios, battling the same relationship demons.

If you are intentional with your selection and take your time choosing a partner for all the right reasons you are less likely to end up making the same choices you made previously.

Some people have what I call ‘broken pickers’ syndrome when it comes to picking a life partner.  They just cannot seem to pick good partners for themselves, something they would avoid if they took the time to list the reasons they want someone in their lives and what qualities said person should possess.

People will tell you exactly who they are; it is up to you to listen.

If someone says they are usually in a bad mood or do not know how to be monogamous, hear what they are saying and do not assume you can change them. Take things like this into account when you are making your choice.

It is important to choose somebody with whom you can easily strike a conversation. This way, you can enjoy doing things and talking about them together without getting bored.

Selecting someone who shares a lot of common interests with you will work in your favour. Not all your interests have to be the same, but some should so that you have common ground and something to bond over initially and later, something that will always bring you together.

Consider intellect, as this may be something that breaks you apart. If you are a laid-back person and your partner is an over-achiever that could very well be a threat to your relationship. You must see eye to eye on how both of you are able to think and process things.

While choosing a life partner, consider your standards. Although it is totally okay to choose someone who probably does not belong to the same strata of society as yours, make sure that they are not completely off the mark.

There is something to be said about someone either understanding your struggles, your privilege or potentially both if they apply.

When you and the person you date are from two completely different worlds, connecting may always prove to be difficult because there is an element about each other that neither of you will ever truly comprehend.

Do you and the person you are considering dating have the time? It is important to always be fully aware of what stages of life you are both in. If one or both of you are grinding hard trying to make it and do not have the time to always be present, put that into consideration.

Is that a relationship you can be a part of? Does being busy work for both of you or could it possibly be what causes dissolution.

Ask yourself the important questions, follow the trends that caused your previous relationships to end. Write down what you desire from a partner and a relationship and subsequently what you have to offer and move on accordingly.


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