If he no longer hides his infidelity, he is ready to let go

Thursday October 29 2020
By Christine Nakalungi

We all wish we could love and be loved forever but life always has other plans. These other plans might be better or worse, but who are we to stand in the way of life?

A partner who still needs you in their life will not cheat but if they do, they will not rub it in your face because deep down, they were tempted by the devil and dragged down the lane of adultery. However, some part still hopes that when that mid-life crisis is over, they will have you by their side. When caught though, it is up to you to either forgive or drag them straight to divorce court.

However, there are those that brag about their infidelity. A person who cheats and rubs it in your face is only screaming, “Get out of my life” and at this stage, there is little or nothing you can do to save that relationship. By the time someone shows you their true colours, it is best you take them by their actions because if you do not, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak.

For years, Rosette heard rumours of her husband cheating, but she stayed true to her vows and forgave him more than he deserved. At a certain point, he stopped apologising and trying to find excuses. First, he had blamed the devil for tempting him, the next time he blamed the woman for seducing him and eventually, he ran out of excuses and decided he is better off with multiple partners than just one.

Rosette fought these women, threatened them and did all she could to get her husband back just as she was advised by the, ‘fight for your marriage’ committee. But eventually, her energy waned. 

She cried until she found no reason to cry anymore. Because Mr ‘I can’t keep it in my pants’ had decided to bring his latest mistress into their matrimonial home. Her children started asking questions but she created cover-up stories. She endured it for some days until the new woman of the house decided that she wanted her bedroom and she was ordered to give it up; that is when she went screaming for help. 


Some people advised her to stay for the sake of the children, but one counsellor forced her to look in a mirror. “Do you like who you are seeing?” She was asked. The counsellor advised her to let out whatever she was feeling as she stood in front of the mirror. She eventually got tired of seeing herself weep like a defenseless child and she dried her eyes. 

Rosette was a woman who had worked so hard to keep her marriage and family afloat, and yet she was the one wailing like a baby. When the counsellor asked her if she liked seeing herself cry, she said no. That is when she knew her happiness or sadness was controlled by one person, herself.

Failing in marriage should not be treated as failing in life. Sometimes you just cannot control everything else that happens to you. Am I preaching divorce? Definitely not, but breakup is a wave that never knocks, it just sweeps you off your feet and drags you to the land of regrets and sorrow. Sometimes, it is better to accept that you have lost in order to get back on your feet.