By Bradford Kamuntu
I have personally never been in a long distance relationship. I, like most, have witnessed them and gathered information from people that were in the depths of them or like many of you, saw how they were portrayed in entertainment.
Most people presented them as dark, dreary, the true tests of your trust and patience and all round just a terrible idea. In most conversations, I have been a part of, people usually gasped when they found out someone was in a long distance relationship.
But I am one person that has always given every argument equal opportunity. I tend to see good in everything and there are relationships like this that function much better than those with partners living under the same roof. This could be because some people thrive with degrees of separation, it also could be because the people in these unions are committed and find ways to make their relationship work without distance being a factor.
It is often difficult (especially in these times) to find someone you are completely in tune with. When you do, you want nothing more than to hold on to them. But as life goes, circumstances can often change that just as you have found this person, career advancement opportunities present themselves, contracts terminated, visas expire and are not renewed or some people are just always on the hunt for the next adventure. Things happen and you find yourself having to adjust to a new normal.
But the more I read about it, the more I thought back on conversations I had been a part of in relation to this very matter the more I realised that it is not all bad.
So, I gathered some of my conclusions and personal opinions to share with you why a long distance relationship might be something worth looking into.
Disclaimer: this in no way means I am telling you to ignore all the reasons you may have come up with not to get involved in one.
Being apart for a period of time does not in any way mean you will be apart forever. Many couples that went through seasons of separation in fact credited them for strengthening their bond.
Being in a long distance relationship frees up a lot of time for you to pursue other interests and passions. I would not advocate for it solely based on this. please pursue your passions regardless. But living far from your loved one creates free time in the sense that the time you would have used to do something with your loved one you can now use to take that pottery class, add an extra course to your academic qualifications, use your love of wine to become a sommelier. You have free time you can put to good use and that is a blessing.
You develop independence, when you find yourself alone most of the time you find yourself tackling daily life challenges that you would in most cases have a partner help you with or just someone to bounce ideas and opinions off of.
The absence of this other presence and unlimited access to them causes you to think and rely upon your own thoughts and abilities and who does not want to be totally independent, it is one of the most liberating feelings known to man.
There are no two ways about it, long distance relationships require you to put in the work. A lot of it, which can be quite challenging but this act further cements your commitment to one another.
Spending hours on a video call staring at each other through a screen as opposed to snuggling on the couch in front of a movie must be super depressing, that has not escaped my mind. But here is the thing, what is hard earned is usually what is most worth having.
So when you sit through hours of traffic rushing home every day just to make a video call happen, think of the greater good and how you would have worked tirelessly to make sure that communication between the two of you was not lost.
Long distance may really help you see how much you need someone in your life, that affirmation is what strengthens your commitment.
We are living in a time where we have unprecedented all round access to one another, while it may not be as ideal as being around each other physically, it is still a way for you to communicate, map out plans for your future as a couple and retain a small amount of normalcy.
So while it may seem difficult, judge subjectively as it pertains to you. If the pros outweigh the cons then by all means, take the leap and jump into that long distance relationship and see how it turns out.