Keeping the love aflame past Valentine’s Day

Thursday February 18 2021
By Joan Salmon

Valentine’s Day is over.  Moving on, there is need to keep the embers alive lest we become one hit wonders. Imagine someone showers you with lots of gifts one day and for the other 364 days, nothing comes.

However, you cannot love without giving so how about we turn everyday into Valentine’s Day in our marriage? Here is how you can do it without robbing the bank.

Quiet time

Paul Bate, a contractor, finds this so cliche. “I love to talk, so why punish me with this? Let us just laugh or talk about something, not being quiet,” he scoffs. However, ‘quiet time’ is synonymous to ‘me time’ where the couple does what they love, away from all the hustle and bustle.

So it could be watching a movie or having a good laugh as long as it helps you spend more time in one another’s company.

Maureen Nongo, a relationship counsellor, says there is need to plan for this time.


“We have a lot of activity around us. Therefore, planning is important so that we make the time and purpose to enjoy the time,” she says, adding that you can also use this time to deal with any issues arising in the marriage or even to make love.

Leave a beautiful message

It could be anything, a note, a message on the mirror using an erasable marker.

“These are a great reminder of what they mean to you and that you love them. Imagine a beautiful hand written note below the pillow or a sweet message when they look at the mirror? It will keep them smiling and they will surely enjoy their day better,” Nancy Kembabazi, a marriage counsellor, shares.

Compliment your spouse

You may have done a bit of that on Valentine’s Day or failed to, that is behind us, but going forward, make this as regular as brushing your teeth.

“You need to do it, more so before your children as a way to teach them about uplifting their loved ones. And before you think that you might be doing it a lot, remember, you might be the only one complimenting them, so please, keep at it. When done genuinely, they will blossom and it will look good on you too,” Kembabazi says.

Write those vows again

No, we are not talking about another wedding, it is just telling your spouse that you vowed and have not forgotten.

Ambrose Aine, a husband and father, says what better way to put your weight behind those vows than by putting your signature at the end of the vows?

“You could frame them to keep the paper in pristine condition then put them where your partner can see. Also, do not forget to walk the talk,” he says.

Ask them what romantic means to them

You may have several romantic ideas up your sleeve. However, Aine says, men view things differently from women.

“Ask your spouse what romantic means to them. The ideas will definitely be different but will save you from putting your energy into what will not be appreciated. With their description, you will better your efforts to work,” he says.


Never stop dating

Take time to be together, just the two of you. Impress each other, laugh, have fun, love deeply. Dating does not mean always going somewhere. It is a mindset. Remember how you were with your spouse when you were first falling in love? Go back there.